Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked to know the penis size of every other guy I’ve been with. There are a lot. FML
Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
notjustanybody20 9
i wonder too. i like your sense of humour!
whitekid1497 7
It doesn't matter how big a girl's penis is, if she had a penis of any size I would be intimidated
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Comments (145)
laurenmacias 0
Don't hate the player, hate that game!
jlperry31 10
The first thing I would of said was show me this huge penis and I'll decide if that's your problem. Haha. Screw that guy of he can't take ur humor than he isn't for u. I thought it was funny
godamnitmotagain 16
Lol my girlfriend and her friend are always talking about her friends school bus sized dick. And how much smaller I am haha.
MyssMarsh 11
Well I thought that was a great joke, guy needs a sense or humour.
TheBatgirl 7
I would have said the exact same thing. And frankly, if I was a guy and a chick said that to me, I would be all over them.
FlyFrey 4
I think your hilarious
hateevryone 15
Cause you say stupid stuff like that. It might've been okay if you were a guy, but c'mon.
fromoverthere 7
I would have lol'd
Firenze90 0
I like to put things in perspective by reversing genders. Imagine if you asked a guy why he is single, and he told you that not only does he have a ******, but its so tight that most women are intimidated by it. That's how stupid you sound.
E001mek 5
I demand to see said pe-.....im gonna stop myself before I end up questioning my own sexuality