Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML
Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
Today, my wife called me a pervert and a degenerate for lusting after a teenage girl. I’d found some old pictures from high school and remarked about how sexy she’s always been. It was her I was talking about. I said she’d always been attractive, but liking her as a teen is now weird I guess. FML
Today, I saw my husband at a restaurant, laughing with a hot woman. He'd told me he was at a meeting with the VP of his company. Furious, I barged in and started screaming at them, calling him a cheater and a liar. Turns out the woman was actually the VP of his company, and they were in the middle of the meeting. FML
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Top comments
Soninuva 41
This mentality is what's wrong with the world.
lexred 30
What the hell?
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Comments (102)
BawlmerHon24 17
should have told the old bag she was just jealous
0neiros 14
Old women like that are just grumpy from stepping on their sagging ******* all day.
legendof90 14
Topsy turvy world
doge_ram 16
OMG SASKATCHEWAN
madscientist_17 15
All I could hear in my head "tell him to go **** himself and his prude of a ******* wife". Sorry. Had to get that off my chest.
ACCOUNTKILLER 18
Then you say: 1.That's your problem 2.I don't have control over what you find attractive 3.I have not and will not ever made any sexual advances nor would I accept them 4. Neither of us can can control what you see 5.If you find someone attractive, that's fine (so long as you don't act on it if you are not in a position to do so) 6.Your insecure wife doesn't trust you if she won't allow you to so much as look at another woman 7.She's not the only woman in the world and not one woman will ever be the most beautiful in the world-even if you strongly believe your husband should think so. 8.You are responsible for your actions, behavior and words, not me.
blahhhhhhh85 9
I can't wait till I'm that age and my filter just falls off
shady914 14
Don't you just love old people? I'm sorry you had such an awkward experience OP
GrumpyGrinch 23
Haha, she can't predict the future but for sure she is living in her own hell right now.
lationas 25
Take it as a compliment, and move on with your life. If we were to get upset or offended about everything, our lives would suck so hard, until life itself lost all meaning!