Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, my wife is mad because some kid in a store offered her the seniors' discount and she got offended. I had to tell her she’s 66 years-old and is actually entitled to that discount, so she should calm the hell down. She’s not spoken to me in over 24 hours. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML
Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
Today, my wife called me a pervert and a degenerate for lusting after a teenage girl. I’d found some old pictures from high school and remarked about how sexy she’s always been. It was her I was talking about. I said she’d always been attractive, but liking her as a teen is now weird I guess. FML
Today, I saw my husband at a restaurant, laughing with a hot woman. He'd told me he was at a meeting with the VP of his company. Furious, I barged in and started screaming at them, calling him a cheater and a liar. Turns out the woman was actually the VP of his company, and they were in the middle of the meeting. FML
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Top comments
Soninuva 41
This mentality is what's wrong with the world.
lexred 30
What the hell?
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Comments (102)
PhoenixChick 26
Yeah, how dare you exist! Didn't you know her husband has no sense of self-control?
writerchic85 26
Women can't win in this world. If you're too fat, not attractive, ect people insult you for not reaching the standard. If you're overly attractive people call you a **** and judge your cloths.
Tripartita 45
Yes, it's your fault the own man was tempted, and not something that existed solely in HIS head. You clearly wanted his attention. And rather than being concerned for somebody she believes is going to spend an eternity in agony, the wife used her belief to attempt to cause further harm. These people are the reasons the word "insecurity" exists.
Tripartita 45
*old
chuka81 27
Even when you have a typo, you get upvoted. I'm worried about the FML community's double standards. You might soon become the new DocBastard.
9a_1z 12
This person gets up-votes a lot of the time because they post thoughtful comments a lot of the time, typos can be excused if the rest of the comment is sound. No need to cry about a non-existent double standard.
Tripartita 45
Damn, and here I was thinking I was getting up votes because I'm pretty.
adamduhhh 7
keep up the good work lol
adamduhhh 7
clearly people did not read this correctly lol
worldsanchor 5
Take it for the compliment that it really is. You must be very attractive.
littlekellilee 45
This is one of those comments that makes every woman sigh and shake their head.
rydersmomma16 21
Yes. I literally just cannot even attempt to list how demeaning that comment was unless I want to be up typing for the next three hours. Smh.
Zebediabolical 45
Any time someone tells me I'm going to Hell, I just look at them and recite a Satanic prayer that I learned decades ago. I've never gotten more than three lines in before they're leaving. Usually at a pretty high rate of speed.
Ilmoran 20
You're going to hell... Because I'm curious what this satanic prayer is.
Zebediabolical 45
"In nomine dei nostri Satanas Luciferi exelsi. In the name of Satan, King of the earth, ruler of all that is above and below, I command you to bestow thy infernal power upon me." By that point, they're generally gone.
smxiricky 23
well you should of said at least ur not going to super hell
crudeandrudeguy 29
Pretty sure the OP isn't 4 yrs old...
Rxbb 3
Well that's our ****** up world
badwolf504 15
Where do you live, the Middle East?!
msmedieval 11
It says Canada in the fml.....
Zebediabolical 45
The Canadian Middle East. That'd be like Gatineau or Hull or Ottawa, right? :D
HannahLastedxoxo 10
#34 It was a joke.. in case you didn't realise that and thought he was being serious
Elban 20
Its like the same place only with snow instead of sand, right?