Today, I got so ecstatic about getting approved for a credit card that I made myself sick. I guess my first ever purchase will be TUMS and some Ginger Ale. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my credit card got declined while I was buying anti-depressants. FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML
Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
Today, I realized I have finally turned into my mother when I got excited about using so many coupons that I only paid 70 cents for $14 worth of groceries. I need a life. FML
Today, I was feeling nauseous so I decided to take some Pepto Bismol. However, the fake cherry flavor immediately made me vomit all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I received the bill for my trip to the ER months ago. Almost $1000 for a quick 2.5 hour stay, only to find out that I had bad gas from drinking far too much of the seltzer I had bought on sale. FML
Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML
Today, I realized while paying bills on my phone I fat-fingered which credit card I was paying and sent 299 to a paid-off card instead of 200 to another one. Now I'm going to have overdraft fees too. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's not really an honor, it's just a way for The Man to trap you into endless debt.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Please don't abuse it...
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Comments (7)
RichardPencil 32
It's not really an honor, it's just a way for The Man to trap you into endless debt.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Please don't abuse it...
BurnInDemonFire 39
I haven't felt joy like that in years...
mfranks19891989 10
Seriously that’s going to be your first purchase. Tums and ginger ale is like $3-4. I don’t think your ready for a credit card yet.
bullsonyourface 20
.....what? do you also make yourself sick when you're able to hit 3 green lights in a row? or when you take a shit and only have to wipe once? because those are things to truly be excited about.
shannon2348 14
just how did you make yourself sick? I'm not sure I get this.
aribanks 12
ISSA TRAP!