Today, I was talking to a female friend online. She was typing out a story bit by bit about how awful she was feeling after being teased. I was responding with, "So, so true" but because of my slow typing it appeared after she wrote, "Doesn't help being fat." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, while in the shower with my girlfriend she was going on and on about how she thinks she's fat when she's in perfect shape. With what she said still on my mind, I meant to say "honey, you're so beautiful", but accidentally said "honey, you're so fat". I'll be sleeping alone tonight. FML
Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML
Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my friend asked me to tell her the truth why she’s single and friendless except for me. I answered honestly and told her it’s because she’s so negative it drives people away, and it doesn’t help that she’s got bad BO and is morbidly obese. Now she won’t talk to me. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a long-overdue message telling her I feel like she doesn't really care about me any more, that it seems like she only ever calls me when she needs money, and that I'm even starting to suspect she may be cheating on me. 14 hours later, she replied: "TL;DR". FML
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Top comments
FernandoTorres_fml 0
I hope you got out the awkward turtle. He exists for moments like that.
DJ_Chutfield 4
"LOL that was SO meant for the last line hahahaha" is all that's needed
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Comments (43)
your_mother 0
Well at least you told it like it is.
davidhasmorefun 0
I mean. does he really care that much about her feelings? you shouldve told her to go to the gym with you. if you actually cared. but I doubt it.
BugeryBill 0
fat chicks need love too....but they gotta pay!
z0nezero 0
ahahahhahahahhahaha!
Crush89 0
Get a life and talk to females face to face!
xsw33tyx101 0
are you completely stupid? people talk to their friends online the whole time! It;s a freaking way to communicate, why else would people have created, Facebook, MSN, AIM... Need I go on?!
infiniti_G 0
ydi for talking to fat emo girls..
ohhbaaabbby 0
lmao! hahaha this is exactly the type of thing I do on a daily basis.. don't feel so bad :9
themikal 0
Amerikkka needs to understand that 60% of adults are overweight and/or obese. Not to mention 16% of childeren are obese. the numbers may have changed since I last researched, but it's about there.
tellithowitis 13
I can't stop laughing:p
Person1233 13
It's called explaining and LAUGHING about it.
realggirl 0
Yeah, I agree... did you explain to her what happened?
Laura21608 0
Yeah, I hope you explained what happened. if so then this isn't really an FML. Plus she was probably just saying she was fat so in return you could give her a compliment.
Karma495 0
no it can't work
viper63 0
lol FAT I love that word
perdix 31
What is it with all the kerfuffle about telling fat people they are fat? It's like the elephant in the room -- it's obvious! It's not like telling someone they are boring -- that's a subjective opinion. Scales and giant-sized clothes are a pretty good indicator that someone is F-A-T!
allysonrigby 4
it's an unspoken rule, duh. we pretend they're not fat in return for access to their food storage.
Tripout 0
ROFLMFAO THIS is actually true I like to eat at my fat friends' houses all the time. they have the best things ever. some things that I never even heard of or seen
viper63 0
now that's just fat and mean haha
sterl13 0
F- faithful A- availible T- trustworthy
sterl13 0
F- faithful A- availible T- trustworthy
perdix 31
You got that right, sterl13, which is why my wife is not so happy with my recent weight-loss success ;)
sterl13 0
yay he talked to me!! hehe
Elizabeth_lyi 0
lol that is creepy
FernandoTorres_fml 0
I hope you got out the awkward turtle. He exists for moments like that.
DJ_Chutfield 4
"LOL that was SO meant for the last line hahahaha" is all that's needed
karamelkream 0
Awwww. This could happen to anyone, don't feel bad.
infiniti_G 0
*****
x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0
Well G, that was uncalled for....
CleanSheets 0
true dhat
killabee 0
Sounds like the appropriate thing to say. You could've also added on a "and I don't think it helps peoples perception of you when all you do is bitch. :("
ash92_fml 0
'all you do is bitch'. yeah coz it's 'bitching' when someone complains about being teased? loser.
killabee 0
I think it was more the "typing out a story bit by bit" part that I was talking about. Like she is going on a novel sized rant about the meanies. Boo-hoo. Also, suck it.
blastvortex 4
Um... easy to explain; easy to forgive. It's not like it shouldn't have been obvious anyway, unless she's has some serious narcissism problems (which, given your story, could be entirely possible since she does have some pride issues). It hardly warrants an FML though, if at all.
expen_dable 0
I love how on FML you get sympathy when you kill yourself slowly with fattening foods and no exercise, but you get "YDI BITCH" when you kill yourself slowly with cigarettes
Freeze_fml 17
What? I always vote YDI on the chubby people.
ash92_fml 0
yeah thats hell fair. wanker.
raw_tigahh 2
well you can always lose weight, you can't fix your lungs though. that's why YDI
MadPercussion 0
agree with 76