Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Aldrasio 0
Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.
rockandrollbf 0
Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.
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Comments (135)
Finnboghi 0
...Wait... So girls complain that there are no emotional guys who communicate... But they also complain when they find exactly what they complain they lack? Honestly, I hope he dumps you; you don't deserve him.
xsydbabyx 0
Yep. We're complicated like that #63. Sorry? - S.
katiekaite 0
YDI for not telling him to shut up, YLIF for having him as a boyfriend.
mini_munny 0
What's with all the bitch comments? Does no one notice the fact that she said NEW boyfriend except those 4 or 5 comments defending her? Honestly, who spills out all their darkest, deepest, disturbing, uncomfortable secrets right when they first start dating? That's just screaming for the other person to run away. When you first start out dating someone, people generally show off their good points to impress their partner and keep the awkward, weird stuff for later on in the relationship. It's just the same with first impressions. No one's gonna tell their whole life story to someone they just met 'cause they'll never talk to you again since you made it so obviously awkward and uncomfortable for them.
effedinma 0
That's a legit problem and shame on you for thinking your life sucks for something so intimate and personal as him trying to talk to you about something that he has been battling. He was hoping you'd understand and be supportive, as this was him giving you an immense amount of trust. He's clearly more mature than you are and doesn't deserve someone who will dismiss this as a FML.
lola_noone 0
my b/f likes to jack off alot to its normal and healthy even if it is a little more then whats acceptable trust me if a guy has a girl he really loves jacking off wont be the same anymore and hell stopp
forthelulz_fml 0
^ That's complete nonsense. Guys jack off even when they are in long-term committed relationships. It's completely different from sex or anything sexual that involves your significant other. Nothing wrong with liking Palmela Handerson. Who doesn't?
Blobenshnogen 0
well thats a real problem, compulsive masturbation is a real psychological issue that is very embarrassing. you should be glad he told you instead of trying to keep it from you and you finding out the hard way.
RockieGirl 0
OH MY GOD! THIS EXACT THING HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE!!!!! No joke. I was like ... :| ...
jumalauta 0
Sounds like his problem is an unhealthy attitude toward wanking.