Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Aldrasio 0
Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.
rockandrollbf 0
Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.
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Comments (135)
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@51, addiction doesn't work that way.
Izzie8029 0
thats harshh. i hope you dumped that loser.
NorfolkDude 2
This happens all the time. Some men get addicted to **** or something, then they get married, and it never resolves itself. The fact is, it's an addiction and many men have problems with it even though they're married. I've known people who been married for 20 some years, and the men frequently view pornographic materials. It's a very hard habit to break and it isn't "natural." The addiction is in line of OCD and many men feel the need to discuss it with their significant other but usually the other is not very supportive or understanding of the problem. It isn't about the other person, but rather a personal demon that is very hard to get over. However, they do have a support group just for this behavior. If you seriously have addiction to ****, they do have group meetings with therapists that you can go to. It consists of like minded men and you just talk about the addiction. The goal of the group therapy is that most men feel ashamed of their addiction and by talking about it out in the open and finding that others have the same problem, they sort of stop the behavior because it is no longer "wrong." To the person who made this FML, I think you should be ashamed of yourself. It was probably very hard for him to tell you about it, and if you dump it for it, that's up to you, but I'm sure it would cause a serious defeat to his self-esteem as well as continue his addiction.
Silhouette_fml 0
Now that's just creepy...
TheNameless_fml 0
I agree with #1. Sounds like he was trying for something.
xsydbabyx 0
Well if you put out, it'll become a sex addiction instead of masturbation. Score4him! - S.
luvable_loozer 0
So, is this "new boyfriend" your "new ex-boyfriend" or what?
eschreib 0
he probably just wanted you to suck him during the 2 hour car ride
SilverBullets210 0
ok chill out people that are calling her a bitch, she said this was a NEW boyfriend. i agree with everybody that said this was a little early in a relationship for that kind of admission. i mean, who wouldn't feel a little awkward after that kind of thing and you're sitting in a car for 2 hours... and #54, no need to preach so much. it's fmylife.com not...something else that's more preachy
CableX17 0
......you fail
breaksprinter_ 0
I still don't understand what is so bad about masturbation and why some people see such a problem with it. Some women are just as "addicted" [if you will] to it as men are. Masturbation is not a bad thing. The only thing that I could see as "bad" about it would be if he masturbated too much the day you two decided to have sex and he couldn't get it up. And I agree with 54, it really probably was a blow to his self-esteem for you to consider this an FML. But this is all a matter of opinion.