Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Aldrasio 0
Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.
rockandrollbf 0
Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.
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Comments (135)
lucie_fml 0
You're a bitch. You should totally accept him, and just listen to him. That's actually not that bad. ... You should offer to help him out, haha :)
alucardrules 0
So I'm confused did he talk about his addiction for 2 hours, did he mention it at the start of the trip and make an awkward car ride, or was he just saying that for an excuse to ********** during the car ride?
rspart88 0
i dont mean to seem insensitive, but it was just a little funny lol
bigcrazymike 6
Wow, sounds like you won't be supporting your bf with his problem. And good job putting his business all over the internet. You're a real winner. Guys should be aware that not all women are going to be supportive or understanding. I think this one should be categorized under FYBFL.
holy_crap 0
AWKWARD!!!!
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
Addiction is a serious thing - it's much deeper than "I like to do it all the time". He trusted in you when he confessed. You are a bitch for a, not taking him seriously and b, posting this on the Internet. I don't care if this is anonymous.
kellster 2
LOL. New boyfriend!! Not the right time for such a confession. Especially not while stuck in a vehicle for a long time with someone!
NinjaNath 0
the drive was 2 hours long i bet the actual conversation was a little shorter, OP is a bitch and he was probably running out of things to say to her from the pure arrogance she emits
UrLifeDoesntSuck 0
@49, he probably made it up when he realized what a mistake it was to date her.
iceecold 0
maybe if u hook up with him, he wont be addicted to that cuz hell see that sex is so much betterr