Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML
Today, my friend got her first car. I bought mine three weeks ago and haven't started making payments. She came straight from the dealership to pick me up. She backed into my car. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his friends as his "sex partner." FML
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML
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Top comments
MagicMushrooms 0
He should be nervous! Cars are important thing to get right!
Zebidee 9
You hooked up with a drunk guy you met three hours before, and the sex wasn't perfect? I can understand your disappointment that he wasn't a caring and sensitive lover...
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Comments (134)
MagicMushrooms 0
He should be nervous! Cars are important thing to get right!
marinus_fml 20
With a tiny bit of creativity, and if you squint your eyes, it makes perfect sense. It was supposed to say "with a guy."
ehhbeek 1
It does say 'with a guy'....?
marinus_fml 20
Yeah it does now. Mods must have changed it. DAMN you Sirin.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
it still says with I guy.
Doortje 30
No it doesn't. "Today, I was having sex with A guy I met at my friends party."
15IowaGurl15 0
1. A guy she met @ a party. 2. Getting his 1st car. does anybody else see something wrong with this picture?
BlackOpsPWNR 0
obviously like a 17 yr old
Blazingcrono 6
You should ask him if he wants you there for moral support!
dubsubs 0
#2 LOL
limealicious 15
You mean... oral support? Hmm hmm?
supertacowaffle 41
Two Words...Casual Sex
FYLDeep 26
Which lead to three letters, YDI.
gabinel1 0
LOL!
supertacowaffle 41
yep that's where I was getting:D
narcovaizard 0
also leads to 3 other letters: STD!
simaS 2
not necessarily, u could use a condom ;)
valri3 0
Just don't have sex....
simaS 2
Now that doesn't make any sense at all.. why not have sex as long as u use protection?
BWill9014 4
Pretty sure condoms don't prevent stds
simaS 2
Ofc they do, that's one of the main things about them.
iliketurdles 7
103, so tell me; why would YOU use a condom?
GRyphonLJJ 0
So...Do your own test. Use sheep skin condoms and see how long it takes you to get AIDS. Or do the research and find condoms only protect so much real estate. Herpes sores at the base of a dick are still going to infect whatever it comes in contact with.
simaS 2
So107, u're also saying that u shouldn't have sex at all? Cuz u know, condoms do prevent the spreading of most STDs..
rebel408 0
condoms prevent life never use em XD
Jizwold 0
don't **** people u barely know, do have sex, use condoms. there I solved everything
BWill9014 4
106, to prevent pregnancy but I solve the STD problem by not sleeping with ******... works pretty well for me lol
planckit 6
just check the field before u play. simple :)
simaS 2
"*****"? Is that how u would refer to someone with a std?
_kiko760_ 2
no I refer to them as unlucky lol btw sima u cute I'll use a condom wit u anyday ;)
_kiko760_ 2
oh shit ur not legal nvrmind hahahaha damn I feel like a pedal time to go shower it off lol
Titus_Emperor 0
You must really not be good in da sack
MrBond007_fml 6
sounds interesting, that's the only thing on my mind too!
Bishop181 0
Are you selling the car?
maybaybe 0
Wow that sucks :(
Titus_Emperor 0
Well sounds more like SHE didn't suck him...
Chris19801012 0
it sounds like he let the troops out of the gate a little to early and made up a excellent excuse.
beast2000 0
LMAO
deeters 0
mmm thats hot
DjeePee 25
Maybe he thought he was doing it awful and tried to explain it to you?
Titus_Emperor 0
What kind of guy stops in the middle of sex even if he feels he's not doing so well ? Who cares if the **** is having pleasure anyway ???
insanesna1l 0
so how long have you been a virgin?
Titus_Emperor 0
Do not talk of subjects you have no idea of, Mr Insane
enoughgrace 4
He was giving you that "sex is like a well oiled machine" crap wasn't he?
KrazieKleo 13
Anybody would be nervous about buying a new/old car:/. It takes a lot of time finding the right one...cars aren't like you that he can hop in and hop out mid drive because he isn't satisfied. :). Good for him!!!!
jayAZ 3
so true, so true