Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML
Today, I was in class finishing up an assignment when the guy next to me, my crush, said "I really love your hair." I started to blush then I turned towards him and said thanks, at the same time as the girl he was actually talking to. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my best friend that I've had a crush on him since our junior year. Since I couldn't see him I shot him a text. His response: "Yeah I know. I've tried kind of ignoring it." FML
Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML
Today, I built up the courage to approach my gym crush. I walked over, smiled, and said, "You smell amazing." I meant to say he looked amazing. He faintly smiled, then slowly went back to the rowing machines without saying a word. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to my crush of two years. We went to the same school for a year but then he moved to my old school and became friends with people I knew from primary school. Anyways, I finally got the courage to have a conversation with him on Instagram. Then he blocked me. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML
Today, I got my crush's phone number. I started texting him and once I told him who it was, he stopped replying. FML
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Top comments
kelciimackk 24
What an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
Teacherjen 3
You are so lucky! Now you know what he is all about and you can avoid him. If someone is just after appearance, they will always find something that needs to be fixed. The ones I feel sorry for are the blondes with a full bust. He might be nice around them at first so they may not realize what an asshole he is!
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Comments (132)
kelciimackk 24
What an ass. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there.
blondeamazonian 18
Awfully nice of him to prove how much of an asshole he is right off the bat. Saves lots of heartache and hurt feeling later. OP dodged an huge bullet as you said.
xx000o 27
Crush 1 down, crush 2 to be found.
Teacherjen 3
You are so lucky! Now you know what he is all about and you can avoid him. If someone is just after appearance, they will always find something that needs to be fixed. The ones I feel sorry for are the blondes with a full bust. He might be nice around them at first so they may not realize what an asshole he is!
Moskaaa7 26
He was just a crush, which probably meant you didn't know him well in the first place. Now you know what kind of person he is and you can move on. And please don't think too much about what he said. Everyone has their type, but he didn't have to be a dipshit about it!
flyingflies 36
"As long as you grow a brain..."
prinzess_fml 25
Whether someone is intelligent or stupid has nothing to do with how much of an asshole he is. There are very mean people who are also very intelligent -- and less intelligent people who would never say anything hurtful.
sparkledoge 29
True, but someone intelligent could also think "we are human beings, not animals, i am going to politely tell her she is not my type" or at least just "if i say it like that i will look like a dumbass." Or also "let's try to look nice in case other girls are watching" as mean as they can be. So he is still somewhat stupid in my opinion.
ElizaWy 25
I think you're looking for a heart, not a brain.
notabanana 8
Intelligence has nothing to do with it. It's more common sense/courtesy. Some people think just because they're smart/rich/pretty that they're better than everyone else.
scyth3s 13
The intelligence spectrum is completely different from the respect spectrum, or as I call it, the "respectrum."
squizzlebee 19
Sounds like he's done you a favour! Now you can concentrate your efforts on liking someone genuine who will appreciate you for the way you are.
rockeditionbarbi 14
Don't do either of that stuff! Screw that guy!
Goblin182 27
If she doesn't do either of those things what you suggested ain't gonna happen.
LPac5295 27
Or rather, don't screw him!
Kihdd 8
I'm not sure she has much of a choice when it comes to growing boobs...
alex_gen 39
Don't worry, there's plenty of guys who enjoy a smaller-chested girl. Screw that guy, you don't have to lower yourself to anyone's standards but your own. Just be glad it was just a crush when you found out what a jerk he was. Agreed with #2, appearance is not everything. Personality can and does make the person. You'll find someone much better, trust me.
spirithound 13
yup, small boobs are great! ^_^
lukian_fml 29
OP is beautiful just as they are!
Flyndaran 10
Our opinions and preferences don't and shouldn't matter. We don't need to console her about her own damn body. That's not the point of this FML. It's that she had her hopes dashed by the object of her affection being a hurtful douche.
xTommytheGUNx 15
i shall say to you as my father said to me (this is to you as well OP) short tall fat small 19 to 90 i like them all. really though fvck that guy op im sure your beautiful :)
harleyivy 7
Congratulations on dodging a huge bullet.
askullnamedbilly 33
**** that guy - or actually, don't. Under any circumstances. You should also feel free to tell your female friends (especiall the busty blondes) about his attitude so no one else falls for his crap.
ENDmySUFFERING 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The guy knows what he wants.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Yeah, 10 minutes of being beaten up by guys with baseball bats.
TMO2142 25
Your name and comment is perfect.
KyrieLyn 8
yeah, and has no class, so I hope he never gets it. dated a guy who was into big breasts and it was just annoying and tried to control the way I dressed to show them off. guys like this are pathetic: not your type? make a new friend instead of an ass of yourself.
DanielleinDC 34
Yeah, a Barbie doll. That dude can take a flying leap.
rachael_king_11 16
That doesn't mean he has to be a jerk. There's this thing called being nice and polite and just saying "sorry you're not my type"