Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML
Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML
Today, I was on a first date when my lactose intolerance decided to make an appearance. My date thought I was just “getting comfy” when I kept shifting in my seat. Nope, I was trying not to fart. FML
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
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Top comments
kika_fml 0
Lol, why didnt you just go to the bathroom?
ZeShadow 0
You dropped DA BOMB on her
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Comments (165)
zaya1324 0
HAHA wow that totally sucks for you. shes kinda a bitch for doing that though, its human nature first comment: victory =)
MelissaBarkley 0
wow.. i would have stayed.. and laughed. everyone farts. I know she does too
albert17 0
what are you talking about, girls can't fart
cellerbeck 4
I laughed so hard when I read this! ya #2 s right though. you should have walked out of the theater to do it. g
Carlie_McCartney 1
you are so right
kika_fml 0
Lol, why didnt you just go to the bathroom?
aria02 0
He didn't rly even have to go all the way to the bathroom. He cud have just walked out of the theater, farted, fanned the gas away from his butt and walked right back in. I've done that many times b4 to keep the "girls don't fart" illusion alive. lol
missbadluk 0
That's what I was wondering. Simple solution. Derrr
ZeShadow 0
You dropped DA BOMB on her
Prof_Oak 0
#2 is right..you shoulda just gone to the bathroom, dude and haha #2. that means poo. lol
queencanada165 0
niiiiiiiiice and #2 am totally agreeing with you
marisaichiban 0
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now THAT'S an FML.
FuckMyLife132 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's disgusting. Would YOU have wanted to be on a date with a girl who farted like that? Just go to the bathroom, Jeez.
oJoy 11
wow judgemental much?
yeahreally 6
i was about to say that same thing as #2...common sense i would hope
Warcry21 1
ahahahaha akward... u gotta work on ur timing ur farts
tentenjen 0
ROFL. that sucks. (You should've gone to the bathroom before it happened!)