Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Aldrasio 0
Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.
rockandrollbf 0
Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.
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Comments (135)
que 0
Addiction to masturbation? no way! its a lifestyle that you should be proud of! I know I am
soohungry 0
Damn #28, either you read REALLY slowly, or you're a lousy lay.
NorfolkDude 2
It depends. Some people view it as "cheating" while others don't. I think overall though, some men find it difficult especially in America where sexuality is frequently shown, but rarely talked about openly.
ameinzinger 0
Good for him, though, probably waiting a bit into the relationship might have been a good idea, you did say he was new :P
jSOPURE 3
Did it at least turn you on? =X
Gringo_fml 0
This is NOT a FML, way to be supportive, why didn't you just say "i'll do it for you" instead of wasting time writing up such a SHIT fml.
dkcc1988 0
This is the part where you help cure his problem by giving him head while he is driving and have sex with him when you reach your destination and then f*** him 4 times a day for the next month. That should solve his problem
walloftext 0
Addiction to masturbation? That doesn't even make sense. The only thing that's wrong here is your boyfriend's shame over a perfectly natural act.
imaballer18 0
thats sick.
Shroomsteroo 0
there's nothing wrong with masturbation. maybe you can ********** with him. hahahaha