Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Aldrasio 0
Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.
rockandrollbf 0
Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.
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Comments (135)
kisekileia 0
This poor guy needs to get counseling for his issues with sexual shame and get out of whatever ****** up religious group brainwashed him into thinking there's something abnormal about a guy needing to jack off.
4zn 0
maybe he wanted to turn you on
playful2088 0
help the poor guy out and do him.
normandin131 0
Doesn't he know there isn't anything wrong with masturbation? OR maybe he was trying to hint at you not satisfying him sexually and felt like being extremely cryptic.
PrettyVal 0
Who cares? Masturbation happens. You should reassure him instead of posting an FML about it, because really that's not much of an FML.
doneskie 0
ok how many times do you have to do it a day to be considered an addiction?
bella114 0
As long as u do it every day.... you're considered addicted. :s
EnochDravenHyde 0
What's his problem? Compulsive masturbation? That's not a problem, it's a free stress reliever! It sounds to me like his problem is stupid women who will never understand the beauty of what it is to be male.
fp_nbl 0
i had a boyfriend like that, however he couldn't admit it, instead he just denied it. We broke up.
ZWolfeh 0
#110 is an idiot for breaking up with her bf for denying he masturbates. And to the OP: FHL for not having a girlfriend that is not willing to listen to him without posting about it on Fmylife.
Sadface01 0
whats wrong with being addicted to ************ everybody has done it at least once or twice but i shouldnt be tiping this cause im addictd to it to oh hell its 2 int the morning so ima go