Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
Aldrasio 0
Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.
rockandrollbf 0
Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.
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Comments (135)
Jordn_fml 0
I agree with #1. I think he was just playing the pity card, making you realize how "sensitive he is".
kitkatkelly 0
Poor you AND poor him... hope he gets better.
greenman_fml 0
a little road head will go a long way. maybe he will forget about masturbation for a little while, or while you're performing said action, he'll run the car into a tree and you'll accidentally bite off his dick. either way works
breaksprinter_ 0
I don't understand why this is an FML? I don't think that is a bad thing.
sammmii92 0
oh wow. how much detail can there be to tell? wait nvm....
yeahreally 6
lol im surprised he didnt pull over and do it right then and there
Frlf 0
I lol'd. At least he was honest.
Vehicle 1
It's nice that he trusts you about something like that. But if he literally talked about that for 2 hours...something's wrong. o.O Just stay alert with this relationship.
c0w 0
More like a FHL, since he doesn't have a girlfriend who's willing to sit and listen to him spill his guts and talk about his problems. If it bothered you that much, you should have said something instead of whining to the internet.
thegoodlifeNOT 0
i think all boys have an addiction to that. hahah
zanguard 0
I know I do :D