Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to unlock my garage door. After shouting several profanities, my roommate walked up to me, turned the key the other way, and unlocked it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML
Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML
Today, after getting home from the supermarket, I went to unlock the door so my dad could carry the groceries in. No matter how hard or how many different ways I tried, the lock wouldn't shift. My dad eventually grabbed the keys, twisted once, and after the door unlocked, called me an idiot. FML
Today, I locked myself out of my apartment. I've just realized that I could have spent $30 on an Uber or Lyft to my parents' place to grab the other set of keys instead of calling a locksmith and paying $280 for him to drill a hole through my doorknob, rendering all my keys useless. FML
Today, after a long bike-ride home, I thought my roommate was being a douche and holding the door shut to our apartment. After about ten minutes of shoulder-slamming and name calling, I discovered that I just wasn't turning the key all the way, which I found out when my roomie came home. FML
Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML
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Top comments
furburger 0
Well, it's good that you have a roommate named "Mutha ******' Son of a Bitchin' **** *****" or you might have been there all damn night.
mrahhhhh 21
Right tighty, lefty loosey also works for most locks OP! Or if you had the key upside down, never mind.
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Comments (54)
Phillygal 0
Sounds like me
griffin4 0
only an albertan would get stumped by a lock
Hidan_fml 0
I'm thinking about calling this fake, because if you're old enough to be living on with a roommate on your own, then you ABSOLUTELY HAVE to be smart enough that if one way doesn't work, why not turning it the other way? Seriously, no-one is ever that ******* stupid. If this is actually true though, Y(*******)DI and I hope you go back to Elementary School.
Hidan_fml 0
Sorry, but I'm not really sure what I did to be moderated? Was it about *almost* calling this FML fake? Sorry if it sounded fake to me.
jess6blondie9 3
Then you sound stupid.
buddddy 5
look whos talking
rockyraccoon28 8
you must have dropped out of elementary school to not have it occur to you to try turning the key the other way.
mygreenhoodie 0
^ yes
ichikibobivopula 0
public elementary school.
tealia1219 2
Really? You chose elementary school? You must be like 11.
Paws_Cat 29
What?
mrahhhhh 21
Right tighty, lefty loosey also works for most locks OP! Or if you had the key upside down, never mind.
quite_bored 9
That's for screws, idiot.
akd1v 0
lmfao
posteriffic 0
Ever put a deadbolt on the left side of a door? It doesn't always work that way. 'Lefty loosey' is for right threaded screws, bolts, jars of peanut butter, etc...
mrahhhhh 21
quite_bored is so bored that s/he didn't bother to read the word "also" in my last statement. If you're gonna call me an idiot, at least pull your head out your ass first, #20.
furburger 0
Well, it's good that you have a roommate named "Mutha ******' Son of a Bitchin' **** *****" or you might have been there all damn night.
dnljcbsn 0
lol
itsfaithbabyy 0
Hahahaha!!!
Zmeilerr 22
This is why we have those keypads. Or garage door openers. Or are you too dumb to push a couple buttons?
xiiijinx 5
Who said it was that type of door? You know, most garages have regular doors. Don't be a dick.
Ninjafriends 1
This reminds me of a lab test used to test the intelligence... of rats.
dragonaair 5
OP, you sound like an idiot.
Anteezy 7
Yes shouting profanities always seems to speed up whatever frustrating thing I am doing.
DocBastard 40
I'm trying to figure out why someone would post such a blatant "I'm a complete, drooling imbecile" anecdote. There are no redeeming qualities, no silver lining, no "Aww, poor thing." Were you the kid in 4th grade who taped the "Kick me" sign to your own back just to get attention?
felipe87 2
they posted it because they are dumb, duh!
lolaisagirl 0
op, fail