Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
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Top comments
OwNowBrownCow 0
sham wow
TomasT 0
Not very dirty, though... just informative.
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Comments (170)
Euphoriiia 0
1st?
polski_girl 0
nope.
Euphoriiia 0
lol iPod loading failure, I was wondering why nobody had commented yet. carry on =)
CoronaR0na 0
*to say *to give sorry for the type-os
MadeOfAwesome 1
*typos... :P
BonJovi821 3
Wow. A typo of the word "typos". Can anyone say, irony?
priscilla_28 5
irony :)
ndizzle 0
Iron knee. Does that count?
Lukee 0
I think I'm going to cum, oh no. False alarm as you were
Prue_fml 0
I always say that when I'm going to cum, it helps my bf to hurry up and cum with me. it's awesome :-)
polski_girl 0
FYBFL for that being your attempt to talk dirty!
perdix 31
You're doomed to deep-throating your bf from now on. It's the only way you can have sex and keep from putting your foot in your mouth.
rubyliu8420 7
seriously if that's talking dirty, I'm the sickest ****** on the planet.
Oley 27
I guess that makes me the 2nd!
blue_eyes4602 0
saying you're going to come isn't really talking dirty. and if you talking turned you off then shut up and just let it happen. that does suck though op
Kristen_Nichole 0
Let's pretend for half a second that you were actually talking dirty... Still, how did that turn you off? A nun wouldn't consider that dirty.lol
Siva283 0
Your 15 you shouldn't be on here. You should get off the computer and exercise. Looking at your pic youll never be getting a chance to say that to anyone but yourself
guckylynn 19
Wow 81, WTF... she's very pretty and you're a douchebag who would never get laid if girls knew that you talked to people like that. Get over yourself.
skittles222 0
yeah seriously shut up. I hope you're lonely forever just cause of that comment. no girl deserves a jerk as big as you
wanijima 0
Really though, 81. XD You don't have to be thin to be pretty.
DavidJ_fml 0
hahaha ruby liu