Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
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Top comments
OwNowBrownCow 0
sham wow
TomasT 0
Not very dirty, though... just informative.
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Comments (170)
ARScratch 0
maybe it's just your voice that turns you off? O.o
Kristen_Nichole 0
Lol... So sad when your own voice can turn you off right as you're about to ******. Haha, it is sad, but I gotta laugh. :D
ARScratch 0
well that's the only conclusion I can "cum" up with.. she jus said she was going to cum and immediately was turned off.. so her voice is the problem.
Kristen_Nichole 0
Bahaha, way to be creative! Made me laugh! :)
jizzmode 0
"i'm going to come... back to the kitchen." That'll at least make your boyfriend ******.
meneedlove 0
#49 LOL!!!! you know it, right?
EvilDave 13
You forgot "And make you a samich" And, I think I love you, or at least want you to make me a samich.
tgabriel12 0
you used the wrong spelling of the word cum :P and this is kind of a stupid fml..
allplayedout 20
eh it happens. sometimes you just need to stfu. that's why I use duct tape
darkshadow1977 0
female ******? this is not an FML. get back in the kitchen ;)
Paris_LovezYhu 0
-.- why are people so critical to other people but when it comes down to your own life it's a problem
yagurlteeteexoxo 0
lol u **** blocked ur own self.
fuzzyfhuck 0
i tell my girl shut up and come already everytime she says im gunna cum ... it works
izzy0122 0
lmao 72.. I bet tt does work. agressiveness is sexi! I tell my hubby I loveee his dick..and he says I bet you do baby! and stuff like that lol cockyness/agressiveness is amazing!!
4everhis 0
That isn't talking dirty.
EvilDave 13
"I'm going to cum" isn't dirty talk. "Damn you are so hot and tight. I love ******* your pussy" is dirty talk. "**** me harder! I love having your **** in me!" is dirty talk. If you think what you said is dirty talk, you are pretty naive.