Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife didn't say a word to me because her horoscope told her not to. FML
Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, my wife threatened to end our relationship if I didn't skip work and stay at home. She's into astrology, and apparently when one of those money-grubbing frauds writes, "Betrayal will come from someone close to you", it's reason enough to suspect that I'll cheat on her. FML
Today, my husband went on a boys' night but I found his wedding ring on the nightstand so I confronted him when he got home. He was wearing his ring. What I had was a brass olive ring for plumbing so now I look like a jealous idiot. FML
Today, my fiancée said that our relationship is doomed because an astrologer said so. We only have a few more days until our wedding and she won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Today, I ignored my wife's phone calls at work, since all she ever wants to do is complain or talk about chores and projects. An hour later, security called my desk. She'd shown up at work to bitch me out for ignoring her. Now I'm the laughing stock of my workplace. FML
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Top comments
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
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Comments (91)
Fml_FTW228 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well I agree with your wife to some degree. My parents would get angry at one another if they took their wedding ring off.
theoriok 14
Do your parents work in a chemistry lab or another situation where they could damage the ring or where wearing the ring could be a safety hazard? No? Then their situation isn't really comparable, is it?
Fml_FTW228 10
^^ One simple word... Yes.
taybabaylover 1
Obviously you don't have very much chemistry with her then. If you know what I mean
OneLittleAdditio 9
why would they get mad? if ur in a loving committed relationship jewelry will not make a difference. if ur gonna cheat a ring does not have the magical powers to stop anyone. my parents do not wear theirs and they have been happily married for 22 years. my husband and I don't even have rings and were going on 3. :) if u can get rings that's great, but if its hazardous or inconvenient in any way, its no reason to get crazy over.
downtime 13
16, Then your parents are idiots...
zandalee 20
Haters be hating...
nature_girl_08 14
24: did you reply to the wrong person, because 16 said nothing about their parents...
downtime 13
28, I don't know whether you're having trouble following the discussion or whether my browser is displaying things incorrectly but as far as I can see I've responded to the comment "^^ One simple word... Yes." by Fml_FTW228...What part of this is confusing you...?
fukmefreddy 4
How in Curie's name did you marry this dolt? you obviously failed to run control expiriments... shame on you, OP.
seanpalladino 2
I wonder what her horoscope said about that situation...
dressedskeleton 10
Uranus is in its third moon and venus is opposite your sun- therefore you will find Mrs Potatohead and your husband in bed.
Awkward_Science 2
Her horoscope said "Chemistry is a bunch of crap, sky animals that predict the future are where it's at".
Qandol 26
I believe her horoscope said to yell at that poor guy for taking off his wedding ring. Indeed FYL OP.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Horoscope: Be a ******** today.
khaya 9
Have a fight with your husband to win the lottery, then burn this horoscope.
birdfreak 24
Hypocritical much?
birdfreak 24
Of her
dathan 14
YOU DONT SAY?!
LoganBurrito 6
Nope. Just Chuck Testa.
VenomSiphon 13
*starts cooking blue meth in spare time*
taybabaylover 1
Well obviously you too don't have much chemistry then. If u know what I mean
redreynard 14
Nuts to your science! I have a gypsy in a vending machine!
nado13579 12
I really want to thumbs up your comment. But it's just so perfect at 69. :p
minisquid 9
No.
foreveridiot17 18
Congrats you married an idiot!
zandalee 20
Why is your used name forever idiot? Lol
narrowords 18
I'm pretty sure OP deserves it, then. He had to have married for looks, and that obviously trumped her brains.
thgiL 9
You don't know that at all, her belief system and values don't make her stupid.
IceCreamMage 17
129 - Yes. Yes they do.
shadowsorel 15
It said: "Yell like a hormonal bitch to someone you love for an issue *in which he is clearly right on*.
legitkitty 11
Don't worry my dearest OP, I'm sure she's just afraid you might lose it.
doodlecloud 27
Actually, judging by her attitude and intelligence she's probably worried that he's cheating on her.
legitkitty 11
Hey I was being optomistic
legitkitty 11
*optimistic. Sorry I was in a hurry and didn't proofread :)
cudi504 4
I'm guessing her intelligence wasn't one of the traits you married her for.
s0m3guy2010 21
It wasn't about traits. It was predetermined by the all-knowing horoscope of the day. That sort of shit isn't taken lightly.
jillybee101 7
I'm guessing it wasn't her attitude or personality either.....so then OP......if your wife isn't pretty you're screwed.
TheGothGamerGirl 20
Or it could be her boobs.
Zoh_Aubrey 8
Or that ass.
bobleheadNS 0
You're fat
schurm82 4
Your picture is genius even if it's not you.
batrob 7
Why would you marry an idiot in the first place?
Dixbfloppin 11
Because the horoscope said so, and everyone knows horoscopes are always right.
green2go 14
Great sex and looks.
deadxwedding84 5
Vinegar/baking soda explosion-surprise in her food?
Slender_Man 6
Have fun getting a lawsuit for attempt of murder
BunchieRules 31
10 - Great plan! No one would know it was him, especially since he's closest to her and works in a chemistry lab! *sarcasm mode: off*
arhalts 0
Are you serrious, a baking soda "explosion" is not lethal or even dangerous it's a prank that uses chemistry thats all. I really hope your coment was a joke.
arhalts 0
Are you serrious, a baking soda "explosion" is not lethal or even dangerous it's a prank that uses chemistry thats all. I really hope your coment was a joke.
JustKittyKat 24
I understand your side completely. I wouldn't want such a treasured item ruined either.