Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
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Top comments
OwNowBrownCow 0
sham wow
TomasT 0
Not very dirty, though... just informative.
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Comments (170)
greyy_goooose 11
lol, im the saaame way. if i say anythiing close to it, it goes away. ive learned to keep my mouth shut durin the good stuffffffff ;)
page4 0
Well, even though today was a write-off, at least you've learned something about what works for you in future. All is not lost. :) I
ghozein 0
how's that dirty
medusachic666 0
That totally happens to me too. It sucks.
punkout480 0
that happens to me too..
bambergty 0
did u learn ur lesson
JDiz83 0
that's sooo not dirty talk. you just thought about it too much when you said it. to come, you have to be thinking about nothing and just letting the pleasure wash over you.
courtsx 0
shit... I'm the total opposite XD i say it or my boyfriend will say it and I'm like mmm yeah. haha. I feel bad for you though OP. shame you had to find out that way.
Thtguyukno 2
Jinks?
duhneel 0
Lmfao Sad tho