Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Today, I had my first concert and was really anxious about screwing up my performance. Good news: I played fine. Bad news: as I walked off the stage, I tripped over my own feet, face-planted the floor, and busted my nose open. FML
Today, it was graduation day, and the very first time I was hosting an event. When I got on stage, I stared at the audience for a good 5 seconds, then fainted. FML
Today, I had my first gig with my new band. I was concentrating on my guitar during the second song when I tripped over the singer's microphone cable, hit my head on the bass drum, and blacked out. When I came to, people were applauding, apparently thinking it was part of the act. FML
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML
Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML
Today, I was at a karaoke bar. After a few drinks, I gave it a go. Halfway through “Total Eclipse of the Heart” I got so into it, I knocked over the mic stand. The mic flew off, hit the DJ, who then hit the emergency stop button, cutting off the music. I froze as the bar erupted into laughter. I did get a free Coke for my “performance,” which was something. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I think he may of taken the knock-knock joke a tad too literally.
Exodiafinder687 58
I bet the audience though that was the best punchline of the night.
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Comments (49)
Welshite 40
I think he may of taken the knock-knock joke a tad too literally.
Enslaved 38
Standup? Not anymore.
wikypedia 5
Knock knock Who's there? Me, I kill you! *knocked out*
Mauskau 36
Perhaps you should practice more with a smaller audience, see if your friends and family find you funny. If they don't, you have a lot of work to do. Good luck and I hope you're not injured.
brendejafulable 41
i'd guess no.
coried91 28
What are you talking about?! He was a knock out! *Buh dum tisss*
Dodge4x4Ram 46
Even the most recognized singers had it rough in the beginning, overcome this obstacle & you'll only improve.
khaoticpanda 28
I could be wrong but im sure hes talking about stand up comedy
Dodge4x4Ram 46
read it too fast
vikky538 29
then we should call it open-mic knockout..
mct_1087 27
An open-bottle knockout.
Steve95401 49
I have seen musicians who were magicians because they could make an audience disappear.
PossiblyInDanger 24
Mictality!
kirbs19 37
Practice, practice, practice! You need to see if other people like yours material family, friends, colleges. And do some research on WHO will be there on open mic night! That way you won't get knocked out.
Exodiafinder687 58
I bet the audience though that was the best punchline of the night.
fluffiest 10
You beat me to the punch
drayloon 50
I guess he was done waiting for the punch line edit: ah, shit, jus one comment too late