Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
Today my boyfriend told me that dirty talk with me was like potty training a puppy. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk dirty to my boyfriend, after he promised not to laugh at me. All seemed well, until I heard laughter. It wasn't him, though; it was his family listening from the other room. FML
Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
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Top comments
AlwaysWatching 27
Well you needed to tell him or else you will never be able to have a good time and he will never improve
aruden 25
It has to be done, bad dirty talk is the worst.
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Comments (75)
AlwaysWatching 27
Well you needed to tell him or else you will never be able to have a good time and he will never improve
WildJaw 15
Or maybe he didn't need to know the "dirty" truth.
flee2321 10
I think it depends on how she told them. There isn't any reason to be rude. But he definitely should know she doesn't like it.
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe don't wait so long next time. Maybe he feels bad because he thought he was pleasing you for a long time.
Senorangelo 10
The key is to gradually advice on improving instead of just saying that someone is not good!
aruden 25
It has to be done, bad dirty talk is the worst.
MrSassypants 34
"Oh baby. I'll turn you on like a refrigerator...... but, y'know, when you switch the refrigerator from off to on."
itsalanis 25
I don't know about you, but that line seemed to work on me. :U
MrSassypants 34
The only bad thing about that line is that if your refrigerator is running then you better go catch it.
Aspen_Grace33 27
Maybe give him some pointers on what he could say to turn you on?
EverestMelting 23
I've always found communication in a relationship always helps. Talk to him about what gets you going and try to come to a compromise. If you don't like it, you did right by telling him. Although he did cry, just explain to him what he's doing wrong so he can try and Better himself. All about communication.
supertacowaffle 41
Hey you had to tell him sometime I guess? I'm sure he would rather know what he's doing wrong, and possibly have to improve it, it'll be okay OP :)
kangx1 28
If you can't even give him your honest opinion that could lead to an unhealthy relationship I know from experience
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Of course you do Sasuke, you blow your friends arm off because of bad communication.
fractured_ 22
At least he was trying. That's all you can ask for. Maybe try to sit down and have a talk with him if it's uncomfortable for you.
Oyas12 14
Why the **** did you get downvoted?
WCARlover 35
It had to be said...I'm sure you can tell him that you guys can practice at it and that'll cheer him up :p
wolfman0_o 17
Hahahaha oh man that sucks for him mostly
makersmarkmike 17
You got to be tender with a guy like that!