Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML
Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
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Top comments
OwNowBrownCow 0
sham wow
TomasT 0
Not very dirty, though... just informative.
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Comments (170)
elviejomao 0
dirty talk is weird.
theprincessbride 0
Op: that really sucks!
ariellep 0
All I gotta say is ... Maybe you should practice so you don't get turned off... Practice makes perfect! LOL just messin` :)
CaliSurferGurl 0
Haha who does that?!?
thegirlisonfire 0
not really registering on my 'dirty talk' scale either. but there was definitely a time when that was as dirty as I'd be willing to talk, too. and I'd probably have felt awkward as hell about it. I'm enormously less sexually repressed these days. hope you get there, too.
brandnewalice 0
I always let my man know when I'm close to cumming so he can cum at same time ;)
RaiderRoss 0
LMFAO!!!
jademariie 0
hey #27... your gay :)
jademariie 0
& saying your "about to cum" isn't dirty talk....
adoraaaa_fml 0
147 and you expect these other people to change their minds because of someone on the Internet? LOL.