Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
Serisent 26
Well, you know what Yoda says: Do or do not, there is no try. Clearly, you did not.
Darkcamzy 10
Doesn't Yoda just have the sexiest voice you have ever heard?
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Comments (112)
Thebroskii 11
How romantic. No, but seriously, fyl op
Serisent 26
Well, you know what Yoda says: Do or do not, there is no try. Clearly, you did not.
wldd0g 9
That there one is purdy strong with th force he is.... *Hillbilly Jedi*
DyslexicPanda 12
What in the world did that have to do with anything, 39?
wldd0g 9
Was a brand new Jedi, with his own communications issues. Oh well. I thought it was funny.
Darkcamzy 10
Doesn't Yoda just have the sexiest voice you have ever heard?
RpiesSPIES 27
Right after Gollum.
Zyzz7 12
Why are there so many FMLs about weird nerd guys saying creepy things during sex...
dancinwookie 21
#62- Because that's what they do.
Intrigue 3
LOL, I thought the exact same thing when I saw this FML. And for the record, I've dated plenty of smart, nerdy guys who might have cracked jokes like that in general or even during foreplay, but not so far into the act as to be a mood killer. Seriously, WTH?
RuCheezBurger 10
Should've kept going with the flow
IscoreOnU 19
When will guys learn..
NurseJonathan 9
When will stereotypes learn...
Blackcatluck 19
Flying colours but mostly white
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Is it just me that would love my girlfriend to do this?
Obey_StudBoii 23
NEVER. That's the whole thing.
kakarot2 11
If we are talking about flying colors we must be talking about light and therefore "white" includes ALL the colors. So.. Yeah.. SIENCE!!!
Llamacod 11
Umm... I think (hope) you mean science.
Llamacod 11
Or do you mean: SILENCE?
rivaraven 35
Why do people say they're close to an ******..? I never do that.. neither does my boyfriend. So much better without all the talking.
bayli 12
I find communication is key in the bedroom. For instance, directions like "harder," "let me get on top," or "wrong hole!" are all very useful. I view giving a head's up when it comes to orgasming is just common courtesy.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Because it's just better that way.
EvilUndead 9
Judging by some fmls, some people's sex lives would have been much better if only they both could shut the hell up and f**k.
HeartOfLead 24
Pun intended, # 19?
rivaraven 35
#19, nothing wrong with some directions, but as I'm in a relationship I think my bf already knows what I want, and he does, and when you're in a relationship you should know what to do in bed. And if not, then yeah, some directions. But yelling "I'm going to cum!" is just pointless and ruins the mood.
yourock129 7
How didn't you ****** to that? I would of the moment he started talking like that.
Shenanigans9 8
Horny one, this one is.
dontpanic_fml 32
Would have would have would HAVE
HiIAmKevin 8
Nazi nazi NAZI!
CharresBarkrey 16
Properly educated, properly educated, PROPERLY EDUCATED!
yourock129 7
I was joking... Sad you can't see sarcasm.
yourock129 7
Touché, my bad.
Llamacod 11
They probably saw the sarcasm just fine. What they were concerning themselves with was the "would of" which is incorrect and were trying to help you by correcting it with "would have". Sadly that seemed to go way, way over your head.
Deeznutzhairy 7
I had an ****** just by reading this FML
karlcolt45 19
you must be a weirdo, I finished on the spot just reading that
lonewolf621 17
Sometimes, silence is golden.
Axipiter 24
So are some showe... Ok, I'm not even going to finish that one...
zandalee 20
...no no. It's ok, I'll finish for you. Some showers are golden. But for love of God, always ask your girlfriend if she actually likes to be pissed on before you commence!! ;)
wjh100 13
but don't you know *cartmanvoice * you just put it in her, slap her around a bit, then pee in her. :p
HowieDoIt 21
He was just trying to go green! Eh, maybe that joke is a little forced, anakin tell it may get thumbed down.
happylawyer 16
I, too, am surprised it did not.
jokinghazard 3
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