Today, while getting it on with my wife, I started to talk dirty to her. She started laughing. When I asked her if she wanted me to stop, she just kept on laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML
Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
DGross 8
At least you know she was having fun :-)
lizliz07 0
this isn't a FML. get over it. it's not like this is the first time you guys have slept together. it would suck if you just got married and found out she always giggled during sex!
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Comments (92)
johnw11 0
first
wheatie 0
bahaha that is funny(: can you not turn her on?
Sukimaye 0
maby she's in a good mood
Blue_Coconuts 7
I'm gonna lick your bajingo and then stick my peeps in so you hard baby... Ohhh yeah.
bella_coza 0
my boyfriend and I laugh during sex sometimes,when something is funny it's funny and you have to laugh,
swglol 0
Erm..?
Monikabug 9
Like I have said so many times before... It is not easy for men to talk dirty to us women, because what may seem really sexy to them, is NOT for us. So, OP you may have thought it was sexy, she obviously did not and so she laughed. So, I am going to have to say FYL for not knowing better.
snickerdoodlefan 0
where is snickerdoodle? she usually commonts on everything
apfunction 0
you were having "getting it on"? is that a type of food? and before I get bitched at, I was making a JOKE about an error the OP made in his post.
schnitzel5 0
married parents shouldn't do it, well the op and his wife probly don't have kids so nvm
bishoprsv2 0
YDI for saying "while having getting it on".
alleyx3 0
LMAO "Today, while gettig it on with my wife.."
tweetbaby14 18
uh dude it's just getting it on having getting it on confused me at first...
Dacooliodude 0
this comment wins. end of story.
foodman 0
shalom73 0
at least u can make her laugh. long as she wasn't laughing at a small ding dong...
AndreaHaha 0
aww haha maybe your not very convincing on talking dirty.
Aj4710 0
first!!!!
mjk555 2
2nd yaaaaaaaay
MetroidSlayer01 8
u r second... for now. bwaha bwahahaherm
TehGirreth 0
Maybe you shouldn't say "Oh yeah, harder" next time.
mopar383 0
that's funny stuff right there
angry_girl 0
get her done!
ricosuave1106 0
yea... only women should do the dirty talk.
kaijapapaya 0
Dirty talk is just for women? I don't think so. I get so turned on when a man talks dirty to me.
blocparty 0
you look dirty bitch, go take a shower.. AND THEN GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN!!!
05seb05 10
That is a blatant lie.
DGross 8
At least you know she was having fun :-)
lizliz07 0
this isn't a FML. get over it. it's not like this is the first time you guys have slept together. it would suck if you just got married and found out she always giggled during sex!
Godxboredx 0
I don't know what funnier the fact that you suck at turning on your wife or that she was laughing about it the fact that you can't.
rstroupe 0
dumb
silvereyedpuma 0
wow that sucks. dirty talk can be funny but it shouldn't be funny in bed. it should be freaking sexy
aardvarkish 17
Sorry bro, talking dirty, along with **** and horror flicks ALWAYS crack me up. I think it's the sheer bad acting.
KurouTenshi 0
next time that happens, just cover her mouth and pull yourself in deeper and harder. my ex was into that light S
LaLaJuice 0
couldn't agree more :)
KurouTenshi 0
S(and)M* i always forget about that ampercand.