Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
Throw your husband out the window to test the theory
i_wuz_nver_here 31
This is why cats hate us...
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Comments (115)
amc597 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're so mean, OP!
asdadfhowrh 23
Would you like to be thrown out of the window too?
JustinJK 21
The sarcasm is lost amongst many
amc597 28
Thank you #46, I was being sarcastic.
Chicagoillinois 18
I don't think people on this app understand sarcasm.
scyth3s 13
Internet or not, the sarcasm was blatantly obvious.
JustinJK 21
I also think herd mentality leads people to down voting already hidden comments and such
AikoRose 15
Why would he risk hurting your cat so much! Cats are too adorable for that.
stingray112 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
They wouldn't get hurt they are extremely limber. Plus nobody knows how high up the window actually is stop making stupid assumptions
ThuNDeY 23
2 stories???
rockaroths 15
2 stories is not very high for a cat falling wise, their bodies are pretty much made for surviving high drops. However there is still no way in hell someone should be throwing a living animal out of a window no matter the circumstances.
ShirtlessWonder 17
#65 look up how cats falling works with air resistance. Obviously if they fall less than like 8 feet, they should be fine. And we know that they can survive very big falls. However, there is actually a point in between where the cat can get hurt or die.. I think that point is usually 2-4 stories. The reason is that cats have a mechanism to reduce their terminal velocity while falling, but a lot of times they can't get into position to do that by the time a 2 or 3 story fall is over, so that can actually kill them.
AbtractAngela 17
so it would be okay to do that to an animal that wasn't so adorable?
Dangerousreaper 13
Not that I condone it because it is very disgusting to try that sort of things with pets IMO, but if he was really curious, couldn't he just google it rather than risk the cats life?
TH_Insomniak 15
because you can believe everything you read on the internet right. the internet would say "cats always land on their feet" that doesn't mean it'll always happen.
tabbycat2007 22
30, while I agree that you can't believe everything you read online, what I think 3 meant was you could probably find someone else who has already done it and posted the proof. I guarantee you that someone has posted a YouTube video of them dropping their cat out of a window.
milehigh52 22
yeah I'm sure it would be titled killing the pussy.
musicnole 8
Sorry, OP! Your husband sounds a bit childish. Make sure you keep an eye on your cat now!
i_wuz_nver_here 31
*keep an eye on the cat meow
leogachi 15
@10 No.
imnotc00l 10
#11 yea
Lalala579121 28
#26 Maybe.
scyth3s 13
Sometimes.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Always
wellfuckthisshit 3
only on tuesdays
i_wuz_nver_here 31
This is why cats hate us...
derangedplanet 23
Oh my gosh i totally get it now. cats must have a hive mind or something. ;) but really. they just ain't got time for our shit. they got bathing and petting and hairballs to hack. man that's a busy day
Emmaray 16
Wow. That's awful! I'm glad you're there to stop him, OP. Sounds like he's the type of person that would do a lot of really stupid things without someone responsible in his life -_-
laxtax 19
Tell him humans can also jump from the second floor and land ok, that should stop him
aimbug 42
He would probably try it.
rshweky 17
Well there's only one way to find out.
hunterluv1 20
Obviously there's a limit, but usually the higher the fall the more likely they'll survive because they have time to rotate themselves to land on their feet. But yeah, it's still awful he would want to test it
Crazyjohnb 23
For science of course
Krypt1c 11
Even then the momentum of the fall would be enough to severely injured or killed the cat. Just because the cat lands on their feet, doesn't mean they'll survive.
ShirtlessWonder 17
There isn't a limit actually. The cat might die during the fall if you drop it from like the top of the atmosphere, sure, but look up how cats falling works with terminal velocity. Obviously a small height won't hurt them, as it's too short for them to reach terminal velocity anyway. And if it's tall enough, they have time to do a certain thing that reduces their terminal velocity (sort of like a parachute, just not quite as effective). However, if it's tall enough that they can reach terminal velocity, and short enough that they don't have time to lower their terminal velocity, they can die.
derangedplanet 23
@69 so in short speak what you're telling me is cats are superman and their weaknesses are very limited. :)
ShirtlessWonder 17
Sort of. They just need a few seconds to animorph into superman/supercat before they hit the ground :)
Mintaka_fml 11
One thing I learned from my College physics class a couple decades ago is that around six stories up a cat have a better chance at surviving with less extreme injuries than a fall from less than six stories up. Something about terminal velocity and cats relaxing. Kids, don't try it at home!
americanafrican 32
this has made me wabt to try an experiment for once