Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting heated. I kissed her on the neck, chest, stomach, and threw up as I kissed between her legs. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She promptly had a panic attack and screamed, "No!" FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML
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Top comments
loveyouall81 2
noob
mintcar 10
Ew, be gentle. You're not supposed to go at it like that.
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Comments (227)
jmac317 0
yummmm
Phranq 0
So did you finish her off like a champ?
pennies_lane 6
You do know you're not supposed to ACTUALLY eat it, right?
RedPillSucks 33
Learn something new every day. I always wondered why they kept rushing out after that part, threatening to call the cops.
MuchDance90s 0
OMG Ew
DAN_THA_GR8 12
hahahahahah
KylesGirl52 0
HAHAHAHA!!!!
sourgirl101 29
Learn to read body signs. Timing is everything.
doubleohseven 0
it's kinda hard to read body signs when ur facefirst in ur gfs vag..
perdix 31
They don't want you to literally put spicy meat and sour cream in there. Those are just figures of speech.
joxynn 2
^ win!!!
Zebidee 9
That wasn't the problem, it was the six other competitors, panel of judges and ESPN coverage that did it.
sataris20 5
I facepalm'd
SupermanXL 3
41, awesome.
enoughgrace 4
nice one, 41.
gunnerysgt 15
Oh my god, I can't stop laughing XD, 2 years later 41, and you still make people laugh at this one comment
About3goats 0
haha,
LunaNstars 0
haha i voted for this one. just the mental image...wow
xNikkiez 0
OP: But I love taco's......