Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
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Top comments
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"
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Comments (156)
ECHOSPiiKES 19
First
GirlGamer12345 22
Does she happen to have a turkey fetish?
golferman72 16
Did you put some gravy on that turkey?
zandalee 20
I would so hide the turkey baster!
GirlGamer12345 22
I always see these wasted #1 comments. I never realized I would be one of them
scooterdude720 19
Don't worry, you weren't. You were #2.
ttubear 17
You're #2
Stazza11 27
Um, merry Christmas?? Haha
Scubanaut 13
Did you quit her cold turkey?
maggiefox 25
HA. Cute.
incoherentrmblr 22
#3 should've been #1.
You_Aint_Chet 5
That was punny.
hulopro 16
You fowl baster. D.
LCPLStewie 23
Stop. get off. grab turkey baster. throw onto bed. say finish your self. then leave
whatwhatindayeah 11
that phrase is only used on thanksgiving
devilldogg 5
op didn't
extrasnipes 22
He didn't even bother to cum
Ki11erC 18
4: No it's not, not everyone lives in America, amazing as that may seem.
IloveToLaugh143 21
It wasn't literal, it was a joke, as amazing as that may seem.
shaww 28
Thanksgiving already?
Cassmoneyyy 15
Do not blame you. Why would she think that is sexy? Lol. Unless either of you have a food fetish..
DeadPixel4 29
I would make a funny comment, but your gf beat me to it.
penguin_bitchez 15
boner killer
BobRyder 24
Should have replied, "Yeah baby I got the baster right here!"
JimmyHasNoHands 7
perfect comment with face
MLardinos 14
Yea, I bet he's a real master baster!
Bwcoleman222 5
"I'LL HOP ON YOU LIKE THE EASTER BUNNY!"