Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away, I remembered the condom wrappers, sex toy packaging, and empty bottle of rum that was in the passenger's seat of my car. I'm twenty. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother had "The talk" with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I bought my very first car that I spent years saving for. A few hours after I signed all the papers, I let my boyfriend go for a test drive. He totaled it. FML
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, while cleaning my car, I found my mother's underwear in the backseat. She'd borrowed my car last weekend because hers had been in the shop and she'd been called in to work. I see she put in for overtime. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today my car was broken into. The only thing taken were condoms and lighters I had in the glove box. FML
Today, six days before I turn 18, my mom totaled her nice BMW. She had promised it to me as a birthday present. My step-dad is giving me his old rusty truck instead, so now I can look like a hick. FML
Today, as I often do, I had sex in my old car. I'm 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we're still living with our parents. FML
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Top comments
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
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Comments (178)
hawkeye_pierce 0
Wow. That was stupid.
greendaygirl999 5
I have no sympathy for any FML that involves being drunk. Doesn't your mom have her own car anyway?
daniisme 0
Ikr. but what does it matter? Your completely legal to do whatever
ryan1000000 0
ah but your wrong. he has rum. and he's 20.
gabobi91 19
You're wrong too, OP's a she.
Dmars444 4
your all wrong... nah jokes but you can legally drink at 18 in Australia. but so what if you want your sex toys to wear condoms :p
TrollMaster 0
but this was in north Carolina. TROLLMASTER ON!!!
lebronesque73091 12
If you're 20, you should only be worried about the rum.
delude 26
Why would that stuff even be in your passenger seat, mom or no mom?
Jonathan Martin 7
THANK YOU
skierguy 0
I don't really see what the importance of the "I'm twenty" part is. That would be embarrassing at any age, but by twenty I should think your mom would be OK with you having sex and drinking. If you were 16 that might be a different story.
ambrz 0
Then I'm 20 is important because the drinking age in America is 21 lol
bms1996 12
well the "I'm 20" is, important because you're not supposed to drink until you're of age... dumbass
karagarren 8
bms the drink age isn't the same in every country.. doubt call people dumbass when you fail
DayAndNite 8
Well it says the fml was written in America so let's assume the drinking age IS 21
dragonstrike94 8
151 it says america and can anyone take a quick guess at what the drinking age is in America? 21 ? And how old is she ? 20 you say? I think maybe she might be a bit underage.
Thegingerninja 5
Exactly. In The UK (where I'm from) the legal age to drink is 18.
ammerhammer 3
The part of Canada I'm in its 19 bit it varies
Cathrin 26
Legal drinking age is 21, so she's underage. EDIT: Only saw this at the top so I didn't realize this was already said. Sorry ^^;
mattzawesome 28
It's funny because not eight billion people live in America.
microbemaster 17
Edig - Ignore this comment and downvote
pins91 27
Drinking age is 21 in the US
coolcat624 0
wow, your mom must be so proud. hey, she raised you. but maybe she'll be so pissed she'll exchange your car, since she was going car shopping.
PonTiFeX 0
Welcome to Canada!!!
Greg101 0
Idiot, always keep your car clean of things you don't want people to see. If you had been pulled over by the police you would get arrested for having that empty rum bottle in your car.
renezlacz 0
wtf, u Americand really have a law that declares that having an empty (or full-whatever) bottle of booze is considered illegal? like u can get arrested or have a fee for that? thats just stupid. i mean if its empty, a friend of yours could have drunk it or u yourself when u weren't driving-its just that u like collecting booze bottles. dont you get arrested or smth like that if u have alcohol in your blood because its prooven NOT assumed?.. im just currious. really..
marud 7
it is illegal because you have to be 21 to drink in america and OP is 20. This Nesna that the cops have the right to arrest/ticket the driver for drinking illegally. Having the botyle in the car is the same as drinking, or have Bernt drinking.
holly_fly 34
Well. "We Americans" have this law that you can't drink under 21. That means, even if you have an empty bottle, it's considered paraphernalia for drinking, unless it's completely cleaned out to the point of no remaining smell, and even then it's iffy. 99% of the time, they legally HAVE to arrest you for having it.
ejvlols 0
LMAOOO #6
Enslaved 38
There are a lot of people commenting on this FML that didn't hit the reply button. I'm dizzy as hell scrolling up and down trying to figure out who and what they're talking about! :P
coolcat624 0
wait, you didn't throw the wrappers away?
stonebaked 0
haha
Enslaved 38
She doesn't like to litter when she's banging her boyfriend in the front seat of her car.
5ive 0
WOW. DUMBASS.
lightmylamb 0
By "in the passenger's seat," do you mean on? Like, in plain view? Like, you had to drive it to your mom's house, knowing the stuff was there, and forgot it on the seat? I'm also going to assume that the legal drinking age where you live is 21, but I still don't think age would make a difference here.
heathcoate 0
How stupid are you?