Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
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Comments (185)
thatguyyouhate 0
give it to her then :3
ohmandapants 17
Wasn't this something you should have discussed before moving in with your roommate? The grocery arrangements? Likes and dislikes? Whether you're compatible as roommates...unless this is a dorm situation and you were assigned to each other or something?
xsaschax 11
Partly why I'm never living with vegetarians ever again.
ghostlilac 25
We're not all like that :( Screw you OP's roomie for perpetuating stereotypes
xsaschax 11
I know ghostlilac, but I've lived with 4 different vegetarians so far.. Not very good experiences, all 4 times. I'd just rather keep veggies as friends than have them as roommates now.
outwardmind 0
Is that a euphemism?
JRFaceless 8
Put it in her bed instead.
UnknownyMous 5
I don't understand how people can NOT eat meat.
lucyinthesky420 10
Because it once had a face and a life...? If only people thought about that before murdering them.
DocBastard 40
Lucy, I do think about it. It makes me salivate even more. You can take your self-righteousness and shove it up your ass. Or would that be animal cruelty too?
lucyinthesky420 10
Looks like I have more of a heart than any of you. And nahh not animal cruelty, considering I'm a human. Unlike you, jackass.
raphanne_fml 33
#207 What do you think humans are? Vegetals? Minerals?
raphanne_fml 33
I can't find the word "vegetals" in English... So, I guess I meant to say "plants"? (Sorry for the bad English).
UnknownyMous 5
It's not bad to eat meat or not to eat meat. People have their own opinions, so leave them be and get on with your life.
lucyinthesky420 10
Not you that docbastard guy! I'm not saying I'm not an animal, because that's what humans are. Saying I have feelings unlike him. I respect you and I feel the same that's not my only reason for vegetarianism. Go domo.
hotchick90037 3
Tell her to get her own refrigerator then!
Okayitwasme 0
Since you pay half the rent, you have 1/2 the use of the fridge, she should pay for half of a mini one for your stuff. Watch out she most likely won't let you cook with the same pans as you or dishes! My poor brother had the same issues. He became very sick, he has a very physical job and the vegan thing just couldn't cut it for him. My brother is proof that not everyone can be vegan.
Okayitwasme 0
Sorry not every one can be a vegan your wrong! Some people can't change their diets! My in-laws are also vegan. Father in-law had to change his diet and add red meats, as his crap was turning white and he was becoming anemic. Dr said his system needs red meat to naturally digest iron!
kimmi41509 10
What a greedy bitch, hogging up the whole fridge with her lame ass veggies. Tell her you have plenty of meat down below and she should learn to like it!!!
sabrinarock33 0
BahahaxD