Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
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Comments (185)
CoolRainbowdash 15
Put meat in the fridge then record her reaction on YouTube
DustyStorm 16
I'm a veggie and I find your new roomie to be ridiculous.... New roomie had better not ever eat out....or actually never eat fruit or veggies again because bugs and other animals may have come in to contacts with them!
ibebrandy 4
She would be moving out!!
jalopotan 8
i dont like the food mexican farmers make...but i do like a slaughtered cow or chicken..not a deer thats a bit to much
bewareimannoyed 13
show her this fml, she'll see how everybody thinks shes being ridiculous.
ashleykay94 7
Oh. Didn't see it :( sorry.
OfficeNinja 5
Tell her to buy her own fridge, because you are going to have to put your food away. Since she is concerned about "contamination" and you are not, it's not your problem.
babyshaft408 8
Damn vegetarian farts r the worst
bubo_fml 11
Hmm...Putting meat in a box...Where can I go with this?
kickuwithmyfist 1
Doesn't she know she's made out of meat..