Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
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Comments (185)
ivanhoe4u 3
Tell her that you only eat meat that is vegetarian.
bizarre_ftw 22
buy multiple large, raw, blood dripping steaks and put them in the fridge while she's not home to freak her out. if she wants to be a crazy, annoying, uncompromising roommate then you are more than welcome to be one too then again, you can always get an ice box, but make her pay for it, if she wont: hello bloody steaks
lochlan9 0
Slap her in the face with a pork chop and tell her to deal with it !!! Lol
winterlies 8
I'm a vegan, but I let my boyfriend put his meat(snicker) with my food because I don't care what other people eat and it won't contaminate my food. Slap her across the face and tell her to get over herself. Seriously.
prettypinkpixie 9
If you're living there sharing the rent and bills then you have every right to put your food in the fridge.
Ray_of_midnight 23
While I agree that she's a whackaloon, questions about dietary restrictions and what foods are permitted in the house should really have been part of the interview process.
insanelyXnikki 18
Well that's very logical.
theonlysweetpea 10
I'm with #179. This bitch needs to be slapped with a porkchop. She's doin too much!
theonlysweetpea 10
I didn't even see #177's comment before I posted! Hilarious!
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, just put your meat in her trunk.