Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (185)
FrankHotpants 31
If two vegetarians have a dispute is it still called a beef?
IntoTheClouds 42
Your roommate sounds crazy. I'd suggest reasoning with her and coming to some sort of agreement. Otherwise, I'd say you just have to put your food in the fridge and if she disposes of it, force her to repay you for the cost.
dougierocks 13
Tonight, make a couple big greasy bacon cheeseburgers...let the aroma waft throughout the apartment... As an added bonus, play "disgustipated" by Tool... Song quote "these are the cries of the carrots..." and I am certain that Tools musical style is blatantly incompatible with my idea of the la la vegan lifestyle...
alfred07 18
Get a mini fridge or tell her to deal with it.
Timmeeh 17
Take the bottom shelves, give her the top ones. Meat doesn't float.
brick_man33 14
slap that hippie in the face, with a slab of raw meat.
jkemp1984 10
F that. That fridge isn't her property. Put your meat in there.
cjrand 7
Buy one of those flavor injectors and actually contaminate her shit... Before long you'll see her sneaking in the kitchen to snatch some bologna....
zebotheclown 0
Why don't you become a vegetarian.
Quiet_one 22
If OP doesn't really want to be vegetarian, then that's a lot of trouble to go through just to avoid an argument.
SukiIzumi 8
Get a mini fridge for your meat.
InfiniteSecret 20
Why should the OP have to buy a fridge when they pay rent and have the right to use the fridge no matter what the housemate says. It is the housemate that should buy a mini fridge