Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
Today, my vegetarian housemate cleaned the fridge. He threw away all of the meat in our fridge and made a nice sign stating "Meat is Murder". I was storing roughly $1000 worth of filet mignon steaks and seafood for my sister's wedding. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
Today, my roommate raged at me for "lying" about being a vegetarian, because she saw chicken stored in my side of the fridge. That chicken isn't for me, it's an ingredient in the homemade food I make for my dogs. Apparently, serving my dogs real meat instead of forcing them into vegetarianism makes me a hypocrite. FML
Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
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Top comments
Hadesas 0
Tell her gtfo then
ICATiger 13
Tell her her vegtables are contaminating your meat.
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Comments (185)
derfMcCallen 5
Tell her your food poops on her food. That's horrible. It's fine for anyone to choose to become a vegetarian, but don't bitch about people who aren't. I like my meat!
VoteForTaco 8
11=WIN
ghostlilac 25
Good point, I'm a vegetarian and people like her give the rest of us a bad name. :( Weirdly enough, it's always been the opposite with me (people telling me that I should eat meat).
ShroomsOnAcid 17
77 - Same story with me. I don't go around telling anyone not to eat meat, but everyone takes the opportunity to preach to me about how I should just eat some. I like my veggies! It's the same thing as vice versa. Neither group of people are more preachy. I think people in general are naturally inclined to push whatever beliefs they have down their fellow men's throats.
benderbot19 0
Bottom shelf!
crazy_whitechick 6
Take all the shelves!
moop256 10
What about the the door?
ImmenseCabbage 0
Bitches be trippin.
Buttsexpirate 9
Rub bacon all over her food! That'll learn her.
The_Hitdude 12
*teach
benderbot19 0
*douche
1bluesky1 6
*sarcasm.
dcg1375 7
*roller coaster
raphanne_fml 33
*bacon and cheese burger.
Kristoffer 35
*cheeseburger in paradise
benderbot19 0
*paradise city
HouseHunter 2
*where the grass is green and the girls are pretty
benderbot19 0
*******
UnknownyMous 5
*domo
stephanieeDawnx 0
*CAAALLLIIFOORNIAA :D
marpay 11
*Unicorns and sunshine.
hueybuntfosho 4
*erectile dysfunction
Desi2012 0
Find a new room mate
borkchop1992 15
slap her with your beef
Insane_Tea 15
While she's sleeping surrond her with dishes of half eaten cuts, fish, and other non vegetarian foods and leave a note "Welcome to the the dark side."
kalgon 0
You need to get to know her a little better first. After a while I am sure she will let you put your meat in her fridge.
thewife5 19
She should be able to put her food in there now, she does pay rent.
tangooscarmike 4
Yes, she should let u put your meat in her box.
mccutie936 6
Meat...heehee
DobGriffen 8
Can you at least stick your meat in her fridge?