Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, I was walking my dog in my suburban neighborhood when all of a sudden we practically jumped out of our skin (and fur) when we heard what I assumed were fireworks. Nope, someone down the street was testing their new AR-15 in their backyard. All perfectly legal. FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML
Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
Today, at around 11 p.m., the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML
Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML
Today, I called the police because I thought a burglar had broken into our house. I found out the strange noise was just my dog fucking about, so I smashed a small window and kicked down a door so I wouldn't be embarrassed. FML
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Top comments
rattusrattus 19
Excessively paranoid neighbours, never a good thing.
sandinthewaves 5
Lol, those people watch too much tv.
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Comments (92)
rattusrattus 19
Excessively paranoid neighbours, never a good thing.
the_enigma1019 1
On the contrary, they are much easier to scare into submission, all you need is some maniacal laughter, sketchy looking people coming in and out of your house, and a shotgun made of cardboard, and they will never bother you again.
AKGirlinSD 20
If the paranoid neighbors stopped for a moment, to think, they would have come to the conclusion that if someone was going to shoot them, the shooter wouldn't give them so much awareness of what they were about to do. On the other hand, the neighbor could have been shot at before. And seeing that in America, the past few months, there are greater amounts of mass shootings. I obviously cannot take a side here because we don't know if the neighbor has had a gun fired at them before.
science_nerd 5
Aiming a gun with a laser sight?? People can be so paranoid these days
sandinthewaves 5
Lol, those people watch too much tv.
MormonPornstar 7
There's really no need for 3 handguns. One should serve the purpose of self defense and if you're really feeling threatened, both hands holding a gun is intimidating. If any of the guns are assault rifles or machine guns, then you're taking your protection overboard. They serve no purpose in hunting and were designed to be used on humans. I have bows ;)
Mearemoi 14
I live in NYC too and my family doesn't own any firearms...
vertigoisarat 8
There's no need for 3 handguns? What if there are 3 adults in the house? And they don't have to serve a purpose in hunting, nowhere in the second amendment is hunting mentioned.
iarefatal 9
Uhm... Can I interject with the fact that shooting guns at targets is fun? The whole defense thing is good too, but shooting just for the sake of shooting is fun.
MormonPornstar 7
Alright, since you feel the need to fight my comment: 1. Good luck finding a House in NYC, not some sort of apartment or condo. 2. Chances are, there are 1-2 adults living in that building. 3 Adults tends to cause tension, unless they are just roommates. 3. OP stated that he himself owned 4 firearms. Not he and 2 friends shared 4 firearms. 4. Why would 1 roommate have 4 guns and the others have none? 5. The second amendment is states the right to bear arms. All I said was that an assault rifle or machine gun were solely designed to be used on humans and are unnecessary in most self defense cases unless you plan on Al Capone coming back for you.
ActionManly 11
Yeah, ok, but who the hell has a laser pointer on a civilian handgun?
HunterAlpha1 8
how about someone who wants to increase their chances of surviving a gun fight? lasers increase both accuracy and shooting speed since you don't have to choose between pumping out rounds OR aiming carefully. if i had the money i would mount lasers on all my guns.
gc327072 31
Well they've been watching waaaay too many action movies. Lol, kinda like that one episode of family guy where Peter tackled the Indian guy.... Seriously though, your neighbors need to chill.
gc327072 31
C'mon, guys, I didn't mean to copy the guy above me. Oh well, thumb me down I guess...
longchow 8
lol, I would be terrified if I lived next to Peter Griffin. You never know what retarded shenanigans he's up to.
ManInTheMachine 20
They just needed an excuse to grab that **** stash they caught you watching the other day on their patrol.
GirlYouNasty 11
What?!?
onlychildFTW 34
But the neighbour called the complaint...
EllyMo 15
If they have only seen a laser used in guns, then f their lives for never experiencing the pleasure of watching a pet freak out at light
zero91 4
i seen both :D
zachlibby 4
Who matter where you live, you will always have crappy neighbors.
Sarcastic_x 6
I love my neighbors...
Enslaved 38
Same here. I love my neighbors and I'm a great neighbor too. "Trick or Treat". I got Kit-Kats!
SenselessPattern 12
My neighbor tried to assassinate his wife, and while I do agree that assassins have their uses, using them on your wife is pretty ****** up. Luckily, Mr. Crazy the neighbor hired a cop as his hit man.
MagicGiraffe 12
I heard that in the desert you don't have neighbors. Well not any human neighbors at least.
onlychildFTW 34
Is the from a movie 57. That sounds mighty familiar to that movie the whole nine yards...
SenselessPattern 12
It actually happened. A cop bought the house after the wife left with the kids and the husband was arrested.
PowerRussia 2
They call the cops when your kids have water guns too?
ladybug_26 18
Don't own any guns? It's time for you to go buy some with laser pointers. If they want to assume stupid stuff, it's time you make those assumptions real.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Going by your line of thinking, if OP's neighbors assumed they were meth heads when they really aren't, they should just go ahead start up their own meth lab? Hey, if they want to make assumptions might as well make those assumptions real…
PhannyPack09 8
(Aside) Ten people are on their periods...
mike3775 39
Did the cops have a search warrant? I would never let the police search my house because of an accusation from a neighbor.
ladybug_26 18
Than you look suspicious. If they have nothing to hide than who cares. But those neighbors need to seriously grow up.
mike3775 39
And that is what is wrong with this country now. You say no to a cop, you are assumed guilty right off the bat. Sorry, but no warrant, no search. And yes, I have had this happen, and lets just say, a few months after the search, 2 cops lost their job, a police chief was forced to resign, and I was 5 figures richer courtesy of the city and police department, because the two cops lied to get the warrant, and the chief tried to cover it up. Its a shame how the public lets the police trample the US Constitution these days, and the cops know it, thus do things like this. I miss the days when it was serious in order to get the police to search houses, now, they simply say "suspicious" and bam, we want to search.
fadingaway 17
It's not about having nothing to hide. It's about privacy for your own personal property.
copo37 7
Cops really do try and get away with alot. I'm not saying they're all bad. I had a call search me because I was suspiciously at a park " no I was actually just hanging out with friends after a night of shenanigans" and after searching my body with no warrant he then preceded to tell me to take off my shoes and socks. It was at this point I told him its completely illegal to tell me to take articles off my person without any documentation. . In spite of this I had to sit in a police station while I was cleared. Just another example of how they feel entitled to do whatever they want.
Shindig1 0
No shit. If tell the police what happened and if they didn't like it, go get a warrant.
the_enigma1019 1
It is paranoid fools like your neighbor that make me want to be on the first rocket out of this solar system.