me.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quick thinking
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Irving, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Hard in flip flops
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Fraser
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Play it cool
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
jesus christ, dad
Manchester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Knock first
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
jack s.b.
Austin, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
ifeeldirty
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Parental advice
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
GoldenTornado11
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Anonymous
Cincinnati, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Excuse me
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
But… no! I wasn't!
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Top comments
BlacOpsMaximus 5
Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..
jf7609 0
LOL, classic!
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Comments (163)
TheJeremyMoe 0
Did you finish atleast?
LOLTroll432 0
You should've seen that...coming
alliteen 3
the rule in my Drumline: if you scratch it more than twice, you're playing with yourself. :p
FFUU 0
Caught masturbating. Look them in the eyes and finish!
Inspired22 11
You would look your dad in the eyes and finish yourself off? You might want to talk to someone about that.
someoneO_O 4
lol American Dad, Stan: "Spider bite....itchy spider bite..........." XD that's all my mind jumped to
leadman1989 16
I've heard of "cat scratch fever" to put it politely but you probably have some STD if your dick starts dripping white stuff call a doctor!
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, You write "all I could say" as if disappointed. I thought your response was perfect- short, to the point, and not necessarily *untrue*. YDI, but in the good way: you're quick and sharp; it's hot. Go you.
theressarina 2
YDI. Lock the door.
sneakymcpothead 0
It could've been like "not another teen movie " ahahaha
theFullmonty1394 4
Look him in the eyes and finish.