me.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quick thinking
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Irving, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Hard in flip flops
🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me jerking off. It wouldn’t have been so bad if I wasn’t Skyping my boyfriend, while both of us were totally naked. I had just told him to “put those toes in your mouth and I’ll cum like you’ve never seen before”. FML
Fraser
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Play it cool
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
jesus christ, dad
Manchester, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Knock first
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
jack s.b.
Austin, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
ifeeldirty
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Parental advice
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML
GoldenTornado11
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Anonymous
Cincinnati, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Excuse me
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
But… no! I wasn't!
Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Top comments
BlacOpsMaximus 5
Dad: Must have been one hell of an itch Offspring: Yes, it kinda was... O.o Dad: Umm why are there stains on your shorts, & wtf is that smell?? ..
jf7609 0
LOL, classic!
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Comments (163)
Enslaved 38
Well, it does feel like an itch that needs to be scratched, right? Calamine lotion for lube? Psst lock your doors from now on. Getting caught is never fun.
ikickgingers 15
I agree with the former. The latter depends on the players and the game...
Enslaved 38
"Almost" getting caught is another story. So......What time's YOUR game? ;)
ikickgingers 15
About 10 pm est, same place and time Enslaved??
Enslaved 38
Sounds great! Meet ya there. Getting Poison Ivy never sounded so good. Not the Batman character....she's a ginger. Lol
perdix 31
Kicky, could you "accidentally" leave the web cam running? Please! I'd like to see what you two are up to. :D
DaFudge 6
Kinky*
thrAsHeRr9081 16
112- Just.... No.
brianod 0
that was the exact same thing i said when my mom walked in on me masturbating o.o
LennyComa 39
There are 2 types of men in the world...wankers and liars!
ThreeSheetsGone 12
And there are two types of women: ***** and bitches.
LifeOnBlast19 9
Nice save
Enslaved 38
Dad: Son, how many times do I have to tell you that if you keep masturbating you'll go blind? Son: Umm.... I'm way over here, dad.
Marcella1016 32
lmao
lollipop77_fml 6
LOL:)
klovemachine 24
niiiiiiice :)
screamo_neve 12
Winning!
acethehusky 0
but it never said op was a guy...
EmreArslan 11
Dont ruin the fun 84
chickenpie90 16
Unlucky!
jobsman99 0
I bet it happened to him when he was your age. At least he did not join you.
Savra_fml 17
Yeah. "For wanks' sake son, you are doing it wrong! Let me join you & show you how. You know, when I was your age, grandpa caught me scratching. Actually, he will be here soon. Let's make this a family thing & ask him to join us". Story goes something like that?
mbrooks5110 0
Umm o I don't know lock the door?
madHatter11 0
not all doors have locks
ZebulonPike 8
If it was obvious, just admit it. Don't make up some stupid story.
NPN_Scorpio 16
There's nothing better than an itch you CAN scratch...