Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML
Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML
Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML
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Top comments
BroSkii69 8
OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*
NeedAHaircut 0
When will kids these days learn. when your parents walk in on you masturbating always follow 2 simple steps: 1. Look them right in the eyes 2. Finish masturbating. they will never walk in your room without knocking again
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Comments (71)
Peytonlikesme 0
1stcommenet!!!! Wooo!!! Sucks 4 u dude
RebelHeart7 0
********** is healthy
ballistic 2
good.. the b*tch should learn to knock first
LightningLadyy 0
#2 speak very well English
jewban 3
yeah apparently you lose15 calories or so everytime you ****** :D
resinnet 0
32, your english is no better
BethiiGeex 0
Very good.
capslockisgood 19
50 - Thats the joke.
nerdsgetmehot 23
You could try to explain, but I get the feeling she might not believe you. At least she let you carry on with your business even when she thought you were masturbating. :P My mom once awkwardly and randomly said that she doesn't approve of that...
BroSkii69 8
OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*
ijustlaugh 0
haha nice xD oh and lovely name.
taylorr14 0
haha that would be embarrassing
ruben_A_ruiz 0
ask her to wash your beddings after
NeedAHaircut 0
When will kids these days learn. when your parents walk in on you masturbating always follow 2 simple steps: 1. Look them right in the eyes 2. Finish masturbating. they will never walk in your room without knocking again
bachooka 5
^^^ win win win! win times infinity!
dannycoyne 0
hahahahaha
Fireflies94 0
hahah. XD
blake50023 0
great skots Marty that just mike work
zaveeshaveesh3 7
This made me shit my pants lol
FaberDriveLuv 5
Lol, damnn
CallMeHush 1
It's OK to admit it. Everyone with a hand has been caught or almost caught by mom. If not they are so boring that they don't even want to have sex with themselves.
xCatsPwnU 0
What if they have no hands.
mycookiezz 0
win^^^
CallMeHush 1
I gave it some thought Cats, that wand that they hold in their mouth to manipulate things? Diddle Stick.
Iluv2D_fml 0
Moms intrude too much. That's all I will say. Andd the factor that you were making an ****** face made her uncomfortable and let it be.