Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I "jack off real weird." FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML
Today, my father-in-law decided to "fix" our bathtub and ended up flooding the bathroom. Later, in his attempt to clean things up, he walked, without permission, into my bathroom where my vibrator was right next to my hairdryer. He definitely saw it, and didn’t say anything to me. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML
Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
At least he didn't critique your technique. "Son, if you use the overhand grip, you'll get tennis elbow!"
mattyiscool123 26
And that's why most people don't put keyed doors in bathrooms
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Comments (12)
mattyiscool123 26
And that's why most people don't put keyed doors in bathrooms
raven_of_azarath 35
If it's not a keyed door, it's usually easier to get into. Either use a coin or use a bobby pin.
RichardPencil 32
At least he didn't critique your technique. "Son, if you use the overhand grip, you'll get tennis elbow!"
mike6292 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you ever hear of that song called - talk to me dad by stephen lynch .. if not here is the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeC_nDFusoY
Glowworm56 27
Eh, dad's done this before in his life, he's chill with it. He gets bonus points for nonchalantly searching for the shampoo.
11lorddc1 9
I just hope your a guy as well, other wise it become twenty time more awkward...
rekijan 6
Well it does display a guy under the message.
Elizabeth Burley 22
Well he thankfully didn't offer you a hand ?
nononsense14 8
He probably didn't even realise. What brand of shampoo does he use? Must be pretty amazing to need it that badly...
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Is it his house?
John_in_Oz 12
Dude (or Dudette), he didn't need his shampoo while you were in the shower. He was checking you out. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.