Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
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Top comments
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
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Comments (104)
shadowshalf 8
At least you didn't get turned on by a song that wasn't intimate in anyway at all. :c
mzgabbster 28
That's what your hand is for.
Reececomau 4
I feel you, OP.
dc2fresh 15
control your stuff!
peroxidemocha 3
I hope you tipped her ;)
ConstantlyAnna 8
I have this problem too when guys compliment me. But I'm a female, so you can't tell :)
ijulez 14
happens to the best of us
cainchild 4
So when we talk about guys with a lack of self control, who give up all their personal power, who end up being a model of toxic masculinity, this is amongst those things. ...juuust kidding, sorta. Seriously though, handle that shit, you, not your hormones are the boss.