Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
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Top comments
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
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Comments (104)
unluckyorwhat 15
Same
lambda_fml 40
Same what?
kangx1 28
OP I'm not sure if you're single or not but I think you should go on a dating site or go partying with some friends. Those are good ways to meet people. I met my girlfriend on a dating site and we've been dating for 7 years. Best of Luck to you OP Cheers
sweetcandygirl 7
Wow
JayGatsby 25
That reply must have taken some real thought #2. OP, I'm not a guy so I might not be the best person to give advice, but maybe playing with yourself might help those unwanted boners until you find someone. As for the fact that you haven't had been intimate in a long time, it might be time to head outside and start meeting people. Online dating can also be a good way to meet someone, so there are things of options out there for you!
CODplayer4lyfe 24
You can't help unwanted boners, #38. They're either 1. Random or 2. Set off from the weirdest shit. I don't have a pregnant fetish or anything of the sort but that sets me off and I have no idea why. I don't get turned on, just hard.
JayGatsby 25
#52, thanks for the clarification! Having never experienced one, I assumed it was just sexual tension that needed to be released and that pops up when aroused. Hey, I learn something new everyday :)
feytensn 25
I feel sorry for you!
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
emile_heskey 11
A good pun? What is this?
extrasnipes 22
A horrible reply? What is it? Typical
crackajak 15
A terrible pun that gets up votes and then a condescending response to someone who questions said pun. What is this? FML?
AddictGamer 16
#65 I find a quite high level of hypocrisy of your statement. First you call out the said 'terrible pun', but then support the comment who called the pun a good one. As for what #12 was mentioning, I'm sure he was stating it rhetorically, not as a question. Also, yes. This is FML, thanks for noticing.
weaponofchoice6 11
I see what you did there.....
TheGolfGTI 24
Pardon my bias, but I thought that was a well executed pun.
KrazyKatz333 15
Very hard indeed ;-)
brycemash 9
50 shades of grey commercial comes on *gentials implode*
Mauskau 36
That film was rubbish though, and although they had sex scenes, none of it was exciting.
DamnBailie 23
I've seen better **** online tbh. 50 shades was way too over hyped
DamnBailie 23
I bet you wish it would have "waited" a bit before popping up hmm?
legendairy3000 16
That was bad and you should feel bad.
Smooth_Criminal 24
Why is waited in quotation marks?
e_is_for_eli 12
it was a terrible attempt at a pun.
DamnBailie 23
Yeah. I really didnt think my comment through very much. I feel the shame.
AddictGamer 16
Don't feel so bad #60. Some people are so harsh on this app, I mean we've all done it. Whether or not most of us have the balls (or guts, ladies), to admit it. Next time just try not to point out the pun, or just think of a smoother pun :).
DamnBailie 23
I guess since i dont comment much, i was super lame when i realized the FML post had just been posted lol. No point in fighting back the responses to my comment because they were brutally honest . lmao
Bricktothehead 21
I wonder if there's group therapy for people like you... Then everyone gets intimate and everyone wins! ... Or would that just be an orgy... Either way, good luck!
Kempeth 5
Not necessarily #7. @OP: Try cuddle parties. They're great for a situation like yours.
TheTardis123 11
Ask for a glass of ice cold water ;)
Sillsallad 15
Ooh, a Tardis! Wee weee weee weeeee
jimmysixx 12
I hope you tipped her well.
PePziNL 20
I figure he gave her just the tip.
whassallt26 13
Surprisingly this is actually one of the softer FMLs on this site by a long shot
AddictGamer 16
Harder* In case you didn't read the FML.