Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say, "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML
Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML
Today, my friend was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend, and I said, "Damn, that sounds just like a couple I know!" She asked me who, which is when I realised I was actually thinking about Davide and Ekin-Su on Love Island. FML
Today, I answered a call I thought was from my friend and opened with, “What do you want, fuck face?” It was actually my dentist confirming my appointment. There was a long pause before she politely repeated my name to ensure they had the right patient. FML
Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML
Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML
Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML
Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML
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Top comments
Blueglasscup 18
OP, this is an intervention.
anelelabel 6
Too much tv.
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Comments (75)
callofdutyking 3
Tv coming to life
alpaquette91 9
Well it is the real housewives.... Maybe she knows them....
PrincessPesa 20
Life going to TV. And the quality has gone to places I shan't name.
D37H100 5
Well you didnt lie. You said someone you know
anelelabel 6
Too much tv.
yahoowizard 16
Haha, come on now, I've done that before. With all the stories you hear from people as well as on TV, it's not bad to get them mixed up.
Roevera 14
Atleast you didn't say you'd had a friend who'd just had that done
kinkyfemboislut 6
There are no words.
alpaquette91 9
.... To describe how stupid you just made your self look. I got your back 4 it took me a minute too.
Roevera 14
Yeah, I noticed I fcked that one up after I sent it.. no edit button on the android app. Its 2am and it made sense in my head when I wrote it. :P
cBlackout 13
15 just have to make sure you actually realize what you just said.. You know thats exactly what the post said?
ohSNAPyall 27
That's not exactly what the post said. My "friend" is not the same as "someone I know."
alpaquette91 9
Ohhhhhhhh the humanity!!!!! And you spelled "******" wrong.
hellbilly205 17
This is why you do not comment past midnight, i have made this mistake a few times and you realize how stupid you made yourself sound in the morning.
LissaMccracken 23
I'm on the android app, and there's an edit button...
Blueglasscup 18
OP, this is an intervention.
eatdemcupcakes 4
*hangs big banner that has 'INTERVENTION' written in red*
MrSexyPants 14
Himym yeah!
juliekkk 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
pathetic....
ladyLALAA 29
Aren't you a charmer!
brendazelada 10
That's not nice
AugustBurnsToast 14
TV friends are the best
AugustBurnsToast 14
Hahaha, sigh...he's so close yet so far from you at the same time it seems.
LookOnBrightSide 12
I hang out with my good friends Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric. Oh, and Butters. Butters has so many Tebow-like qualities. Maybe I'll hang out with Daniel Tosh for a little while.
omgcookeys 15
Yeah, I'm Barney's wingman. Of course I haven't been able to help him score any chicks due to the fact that he doesn't now who I am. But hey, at least I suited up!
caberon 7
Yeah! TV friends are distracting and dramatic, yet if you get tired of them, you can just change the channel or turn the tv off! Wish I could do that with some friends of mine w/o any consequences lol
babe7260 30
Lol yes we prob all do
123ilovejustinb 12
Hahaha I saw that one
coried91 28
Even when I agree with your comments I can't bring myself to thumb them up due to the fact it says you love bieber.
WCARlover 35
It may be Reality TV but it's not THAT realistic lol
slimjim8094 12
YDI for watching Real Stepford Wives of Somewhere. Seriously, it's creepy how much we glorify the worst people around.
karkid619 8
I had to watch that with my mom. The scenes are so set up. It's ******* retarded.
kenzie20 6
I love that show.
LoveMay 10
That's when you know you need to get out more.