Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
Today, it's been six months since I gave birth, and no matter how many times we've tried, my post baby body just doesn’t arouse my husband anymore. We still love each other, but for him to get a boner these days he has to watch a few minutes of porn first then keep his eyes closed during sex so he doesn’t go soft. FML
Today, after giving birth, my wife was put on the sex ban until she heals. The thing is she has a high sex drive and is now horny, cranky, while also post surgery and also breastfeeding. I try to sexually satisfy her in other ways, but she's a nightmare to be with until we can have full sex again. FML
Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Today, after a month's-long dry spell, my wife and I finally had sex. It was awkward and terrible, neither of us finished, and she muttered, "I don't know why I missed that" after we gave up. FML
Today, and ever since I gave birth, my husband hasn’t wanted to touch me because according to him, he "saw it all coming out down there, blood and mucus and stuff. They had to sew back together" and he can’t handle "putting his penis back in there." The birth was six months ago, I'm back to normal now. FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
Today, three weeks after a traumatic emergency cesarean section, my husband keeps sulking because sex is the literal last thing I want right now. The fact that my body is still sore and healing is apparently irrelevant when he is horny. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my husband got pissed drunk and told his friends, “My wife let herself go after having the baby. I have to roll her around in flour and find the wet spot when I hit it.” I’m three weeks postpartum. FML
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Top comments
krowjpg 3
you could give a woman an infection using corn starch. dont do this.
zeeba_neighba 10
Husband needs to get his priorities straight. Has he heard of taxis and Uber❔
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Comments (6)
Gamesalami 8
if you ever need lube in a pinch put 1 cup of water and 4 teaspoons of corn starch in a small sauce pan and bring it to a boil, mix it for about 30 seconds while it's really going and let it chill for a bit afterwards. Knowing this has saved me a ton of money and time
krowjpg 3
you could give a woman an infection using corn starch. dont do this.
Gamesalami 8
it's entirely water soluble, and I've used it for years
zeeba_neighba 10
Husband needs to get his priorities straight. Has he heard of taxis and Uber❔
frustratedmama126 2
OP here, his brother was drunk to the point where an Uber wouldn't have picked him up. Flat ground was a challenge for him to navigate. On another note, someone watched the baby the next Friday and he called again. Pretty sure the kid will be in school before I have sex. FML x2