Today, after the last few months of my sister living with me while she finds her feet, I asked if she could help me out by doing the washing up. Half an hour later, I walked into knee high dish soap foam in the kitchen. My sister was right in the middle, trying to sculpt dicks. She's 20. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Today, my sister surprised me by cleaning my room and doing my laundry. She found my journal, condoms and vibrator and decided to share her findings with my family. Oh yes... she also shrunk half my wardrobe. FML
Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I figured out it's the first time my roommate has done the dishes after living together an entire year, but I got to clean up the bubble waterfall that came pouring out of the dishwasher because she couldn't figure out where the detergent was supposed to go. FML
Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML
Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 34
Just tell her to stop dicking around and get back to work.
GrantedTexas356 13
So, put together, how many did you guys sculpt?
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Comments (25)
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Your sister is fantastic! And so is this entry.
GrantedTexas356 13
So, put together, how many did you guys sculpt?
tibtak_fml 10
20 sounds like the perfect age for this
LyricaSilvan 30
Shit, I'm 25 and I would do that. XD
Dave_Davington 34
Just tell her to stop dicking around and get back to work.
the_panda 11
And..? She's a goddess o/
buckdharma 38
I can help her find her feet. If you start at the head, and then travel down the shaft, my guess is they're right underneath the two balls?
Arkham_Callabero 15
You did read the part where it said "Sister" right? Or did you just fail basic biology?
tomatosz 23
#11 He said 'her' feet, so I'm going with the latter.
Pepsiisbae 15
He could've ment the ones that she was sculpting her feet would've been under the ones she was sculpting,but it was still stupid
Aeriyx 6
I think he was making a joke about starting from the head of the dicks she was sculpting.
Tsukiyomi 16
You might need to choke a bitch
Colon_Man 17
After a few months? Helping around the house starts on day one.
puppies4life 10
Is it bad that I laughed at this for 2 minutes?
OnAMission 5
No wonder she couldn't find her feet, the dish soap foam was covering them.
Khaleesi_D 9
I've done that before except it was laundry detergent.