Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML
Today, a co-worker verbally abused me because I yawned. His excuse was that, "It's contagious". FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML
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Top comments
hellnosucka 27
to be fair though, Ops coworker is an incredibly sexy yawner.
The_Ikon211 11
palmala handerson always helps take the edge off.
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Comments (54)
a3gab 17
Time to find a girlfriend or boyfriend whatever you prefer op
tormcn 26
No sex before marriage! That's what grandma told me.
ndnpride88 25
Well wouldn't you be a big tease then #18
tormcn 26
Why is it a bad thing to not have sex before marriage? Geez.
Aky0n 10
Maybe because there's no point? Maybe because then you might not know how your spouse is in bed and yet already made vows to stick with them until death? Sex is not just a tiny part of a relationship, but to each their own I suppose.
xTommytheGUNx 15
well it's not "bad" if both people are willing to wait. it can actually be an amazing thing but alot of people don't want to wait. i however jumped the gun at 14 and being that I haven't had sex in nearly 4 years i wish i had waited longer.
FryingPanHero 11
#45 said it right. Serious couples that are serious about their future should discuss and consider sex before marriage together. They may find out they aren't compatible with each other for one reason or another, and finding out may save them some trouble if they find out before they get married.
Burton_Forever 23
Go get yourself a 40 oz, and a hooker! don't forget the rubber!
Mightytall 35
There come the downvoters... All the while, the oh so prudent 'mericans like to adorn themselves with moral and philosophical superiority of the old societies of Greece and Rome any old opportunity they get. Completely forgetting that in those societies prostitution was as common and accepted as going out on a pub crawl.
XxDanno316xX 27
22, Shut up.
Mightytall 35
Is that the most intellectual reply you could come up with?
SystemofaBlink41 27
Hey, have a view that might differ slightly from the norm? Prepare to get downvoted. Not saying I agree with it, just pointing it out.
xTommytheGUNx 15
27,i like you
tigerisabelle 31
It's basically middle school! But way more awkward because you're supposed to be an adult
_just_joshin_ya 13
Someone needs to get laid
tinyxjr 4
really?? How did you come up with that assumption!? youre so smart. good job man for real youre a better detective than sherlock holmes man honestly!!
Grazelent_90 16
Well anyone is a better Detective than Sherlock Holmes as he was fictional. Must say you're witty reply really struck a cord with me...
hellnosucka 27
to be fair though, Ops coworker is an incredibly sexy yawner.
Jachin357 28
He likes the way she opens her mouth and sucks in the air.
spicyburrito 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Should have poked her with it to send the message
Soninuva 41
Yeah, and then she could have poked him with a sexual harassment lawsuit, guaranteeing OP losing his job, and quite likely having to go through life as a registered sex offender. Yes, great plan indeed.
friedpwnadge 25
Y'all have no chill around here.
conman531 23
Nothing says 'I want you' like a sexual harassment lawsuit
itscomplicated15 6
OP, there are tons of ways to find someone nowadays. Download a couple apps and have fun! You might not find the love of your life, but you might have some fun :) Good luck! ;)
Elban 20
Right, maybe not the love of your life but maybe the love your night
khalil_kaf 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
shit I guess you have holes everywhere so you can satisfy you sexual desires
Tyrez 32
Someone get the tiny violin out! We've got a tragedy over here! -let's see how much ydi I can get onto this fml
leogachi 15
@10 How does he deserve it? And why are you trying to manipulate people into thinking that way?
xTommytheGUNx 15
idk why but i feel like he deserved it now
The_Ikon211 11
palmala handerson always helps take the edge off.