Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
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Top comments
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
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Comments (104)
figure_of_bleach 0
Was she hot?
RedPillSucks 33
and what was your answer she she said "what can I get you, Hun"?
Mpineda57 11
sounds HARD ya know
zimme2579 10
I feel the feels bro.
fmlsams 27
Don't come to the South, OP! You'd never survive, sweety...
labowski1976 5
I was a virgin once before also
vikky538 29
If you get a boner for being called hun by some waitress then never go to country side. You will have boner all the time talking to people
IceWrath 22
Wow, I'm an autistic retard with the social skills of a cucumber and the beautiful looks of a cucumber yet I managed to get laid about 2 months ago... Your life really sucks. A lot. I'm so sorry for your crappy life right now.
TallMist 32
When someone's autistic and calls themselves a retard, it makes me question if they are autistic. I'm autistic and I HATE that word. And by that last sentence, it also seems like you were being sarcastic, which, if you are, that just makes what you said even worse, as you're making fun of autistic people.
brendenq 6
That same thing happened to me when I took Molly??
cynthianicole95 9
That's kind of pathetic.