Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
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Top comments
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
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Comments (104)
Angsty_Armadillo 25
Was she cute? ;D
anonamous14 9
That's disgusting
leogachi 15
Why?
laden_swallow09 35
Know what else is disgusting? Prudes.
MrConcise 35
I seriously hate pity-party FML's like these. "Waaaaah, I don't have sex!" Not funny, just sad.
leogachi 15
So you're mad because you don't get to laugh at him? That's upsetting.
MrConcise 35
No, I'm mad because he's just feeling sorry for himself over nothing.
lol_mar11 8
I hope you find someone soon OP! Good luck :)
mld4657 28
I totally love the name on this lol. But damn you need to get laid
goldcock19 9
Lool maybe the funniest fml I've ever read.. Might be cuz I just got laid for the first time in 2.5 months. Sorry OP
Angelrose2004 17
With a username like that, how has it been so long for you? *winky face*
iAlissa 34
Congrats. I don't think anyone cares.
goldcock19 9
Hate to break it to u 51 but it looks like u suffer from a classic case of chronic bitch-face
martin8337 36
Was she hot?
ghetto_child 19
one word: Tinder
edmunson 22
FYL & TMI concurrently. Really sad life...
tr4drunk 6
Lol she must've been looking good