Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
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Top comments
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
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Comments (104)
Dictionaryspeaks 18
Maybe you should try catfishing people
Grayness_ 26
Try online dating to meet people, if you have time, and go to the gym, you can meet a lot of people there. Hopefully it gets better man.
HoboMeth 36
Did you ask for services?
AletheDefender 15
I always assume any remotely polite interaction with employees at stores and restaurants is flirting
laden_swallow09 35
Or… just being nice?
Lars93 18
I know that feel, brah.
its_lance 12
dude, strip club
thefmlman2011 37
the best! *hands $50 to OP*
laden_swallow09 35
Paying $50 for popping a boner you can't do anything with? Why would OP want to– Ohhhhh…
obliviongillette 18
Sounds like the starts of a porno. "What can I get you Hun?" *boner* "A slice of that fine ass...pie." Que porno music.
jenninator93 18
I'm so glad most **** nowadays doesn't have that god awful background music anymore lol so distracting
kmelad 15
that must have been hard..
worldclassrager 41
Join a dating site maybe you'll find someone soon
_Peppermint_ 34
That's unfortunate, Hun.
SydLovesLacey 18
Oh god here cums another boner!