Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived that I got a raging hard-on from seeing and hearing my coworker yawn. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of female attention that I got a hard-on when a nurse told me I have beautiful veins. FML
Today, I asked a customer for a number we could call her at to let her know when we'd finished fixing her PC. I'm so desperately lonely that when she wrote it down for me, I got a raging boner. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I got a boner at the dentist's. FML
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML
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Top comments
AddictGamer 16
You must be going through a hard time, OP.
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
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Comments (104)
aruden 25
It's alright bud, the drought it bound to end
FitFriday 32
Eventually
zahidnasir 22
I can feel your pain :(
chrisseesyou 11
wow you need to get out more lol
wheresmymary 22
Get out there and find someone!!
Enslaved 38
"Everybody! Put up your hands Say I don't wanna be in love I don't wanna be in love" Dang how your comment triggered my love of--Good Charlotte. (:
Hop6e 22
Sounds like you need more "me" time? Sorry dude.
lantz4levi 19
Match.com has over 20,000 new users per day! Most are just there for sex and the best part it's free apparently. Good luck op
littlekellilee 45
I think you've got a couple confused. It's free to try, meaning you can't talk to anyone or see anyone. You have to pay monthly to use it, and they charge a high enough amount that the people who are only looking for sex are scared off. Plenty of fish is free and sleezy.
ninjahesten 18
badoo.com app for the phone or use the website :)
pleasedie 22
Did she ask if you were happy to see her ?
Miss_Whipped 43
Or if that was a banana in his pocket?
Dexter83_fml 17
Worst possible time to have that happen. My girlfriend thinks it's funny to to place her foot on my um you know what whilst we are at a restaurant just before we leave. It's embarrassing. Sorry OP
goldcock19 9
Just flip it up into ur waistband bud, oldest trick in the book
Angelrose2004 17
Although it is pretty bad timing, I think getting a boner while the nurse or doctor is checking you out down there takes the cake... not that I would know! *winky face*
jennlody 28
I tried that once but my legs are too short :( he thought it was hilarious though.
TDKopecki 16
Sorry to hear that man, I think it's time for you to get back out there and start socializing and dating people. You can even try asking her out if she is your type. Take a chance you never know what will happen.
amileah13 26
Hopefully she didn't see! Would've made that situation even more awkward!