Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML
Today, I came home and found a few of my faux fur coats completely butchered. On my way to interrogate my boys, the only ones home, I found our husky dog, who was recently shaved for an operation, covered in the fur that once belonged to my coat. My boys said 'he was cold'. FML
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, I woke up to the news that my son had put the cat in the dryer the night before. He didn't turn it on, and the cat is just fine, but now I need a new dryer so my clothes won't smell like cat urine. FML
Today, my junkie son came to the house showered, in clean clothes, with sobriety chips from NA, full of apologies, and we had a good cry about his recovery. I went to the kitchen for tissues, for less than a minute, but when I got back he’d stolen my purse, television, and spare change jar with about £75 in it. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Today, our dog died suddenly, so I paid for tests to find out why. Turns out she had zero blood sugar, like a diabetic who overdosed on insulin. I’m diabetic and I’m always telling my 6 year-old son it’s medicine to make daddy better. The dog was sick yesterday, and my son knows how I inject. Damn. FML
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Top comments
Glitterhinoceros 14
Dont crush his dream of becoming a dog groomer. I bet he did a lovely job and your just overreacting.
ChaPStikkWhoRe 0
The dog probably peer pressured your son into getting high and then shaving him!
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Comments (265)
puppytaco64 8
*Dude
Savra_fml 17
The drugs may not be the problem.
leprechaun23 15
Just because he got high and shaved the dog doesnt mean he needs help
creampie18 5
Most kids that are in high school try weed, it's not that big of a deal, just tell him to do it in moderation. Don't overreact and send him to rehab it's just weed, trust me overreacting will get you no where, and as for the dog the hair will grow.
xStaciexLynnx 15
Sorry but "most" people in high school dont try weed. "Most" of us arent stupid enough and have lives that don't include getting high.
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
Smoking pot doesn't make you stupid. Say something that makes sense or don't speak.
False_Stupidity 42
#98 if you just smoked a joint before commenting then you just contradicted yourself as you failed to correctly read #89's comment.. They were saying most aren't stupid enough to try weed, not that weed makes you stupid.
challenger442 2
Its is a known fact that by senior year more than 60% of high school students have tried weed. Look it up before you post anymore stupid shit.
Noelletakumi 36
I'm a senior and have never tried a drug in my life. Joke's on you.
ebxr82nv 2
So the kids had a couple of cones, oh my god chill out maybe you're the one who needs to have a chill sesh.
dre_bro11 12
37, that's exactly why OP SHOULD get him help. Who knows what's next.
ChantelRenaeee 0
See, if you lived in australia, it would be nice and warm.
superficialheart 11
Indeed it would! :)
Jaxx66 21
Heat is terrible. >_< must..... Move..... Too..... Antarctica. ....
Savra_fml 17
Take the rest of your sons stash, bake some coockies, and sit down for a chat with him. Could even give one to the dog as a treat.
benderbot19 0
Cockies? That doesn't sound mother/son friendly.
thew_fml 14
drugs did not make your son an idiot.....
icic6772 0
Beat his ass.