Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, not only is my son stupid enough to spend £50 on a bag of garden weeds because the dealer told him it was marijuana, he's also stupid enough to refuse to believe he was conned, and try to smoke it anyway. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML
Today, I found out what my son has been celebrating. Apparently, his boss caught him smoking weed and fired him, then had a massive stroke and now has the IQ of a potato, so my son just kept turning up to work since his boss hadn’t had the time to tell anyone he was fired, or to fill out any paperwork. My son is scum. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, it's my 18th birthday. I called my parents and they told me that they found weed in the guest house, so they called my boarding school to drug test me. It wasn't my weed. They didn't even say, "Happy Birthday." FML
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I got a call from my brother, saying he was losing his mind at work and did not feel well. I went to pick him up. Turns out he decided to try weed for the first time at work and was high AF. Now I'm the little brother babysitting a 35 year-old man child. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
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Top comments
mpkpm 19
I'll sell him some coke...$100..... Does he like diet or regular?
cats400 16
You need to teach him the difference
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Comments (78)
cats400 16
You need to teach him the difference
tifdunc 14
How much for a gram?
silvercamaro 22
He could not teach him too, then he won't get caught selling the real thing
Enslaved 38
"Who taught you how to do this stuff?" "From you, dad. I learned it from watching you!"
cathrope 10
I swear that used to be an anti-drug commercial back in the 80's.
EverestMelting 23
Hey #36. They are $200 dollars for one weed. Freshly picked. I suggest injecting them. Putting them in your butt also has the same effect.
Allornone 35
49, it was. That's probably why 47 posted it.
ViciousClarity8 9
$10 in cali, in the streets
sourgirl101 29
Stink weed?
white0zombie 7
20 in Memphis, lucky you!
Clay_Pidgeon 11
yeah broooo! let's talk about were we can find weed for the cheapest prices in the U.S.
kingdomgirl94 29
Well I mean you can buy dandelion greens at the grocery store for 2 bucks... In Canada for real weed its about ten bucks a gram. I hate that I know that. I don't do drugs, I swear.
shinigami99 10
15 for flame in battlecreek
mb2_native 15
Yeup, 10 up here, no matter where ya go haha good stuff and shitty stuff.
HockeyPlayerLife 13
(I don't do drugs myself, i have friend who do though) For some people they get a gram for $5 up till $10 for what I know. That's in Canada, New Brunswick.
DeadLordMC 4
@36 At my highschool(no pun intended) there is a group of juniors who sell it for $20. But I'm more busy with the PizzaHut outside since I always order a large pizza for me and my buds. The pot heads can be found there too.
Bafrinn 14
I Used To Think This Too.
swiftous 7
Why Do You Capitalize Every Word
lolhailsatan 23
by Fall Out Boy
ironichalibut 24
Catch the latest album from Generic Indie Band "All My Shirts Say Dumb Shit", on iTunes now!
fuckyourlifeOP 25
#2 hAHA! sO wE mEET aGAIN!
PageantGirlXOXO 16
Make him smoke both. Then he will learn.
itsalanis 25
If he can find people like him, maybe he can still make some money. Err, nevermind who am I kidding? :/
nanxi 30
Well, #2 seems to be a prime potential customer.
itsalanis 25
Well, I'll be. I stand corrected.
ironichalibut 24
"I'm the one who rings the doorbell" "Yo, dandelions are my signature, bitch"
Xeebar 28
Your kid sounds like a real winner.
teyyoshi 19
why did you say like this ？
chickenfeet223 11
Lol
warsun 27
Because #4 reckons the kid is a real winner......apparently
drumguy218 11
some guy at my school got arrested for drug dealing and credit card fraud... at only 14 years old!
mageepaigeee44 15
It happens. Lots of kids in my school started selling/doing drugs at a young age. Most of them aren't doing to great but at least they know the difference between grass and marijuana.
gjikvtj 18
Can someone explain the dislikes on #5?
mikbrooke 25
#88 people are probably finding it irrelevant, so they are downvoting it.
TheDrifter 24
Generally irrelevant and hardly surprising. North America's finer neighborhoods have drug dealers under 12 all day every day, because under 12 they won't get charged, so no record and no punishment. Getting busted at 14 is just getting busted. If the kid was 9 we might have a moment of pity for lost youth.
gjikvtj 18
Oh, makes more sense now. Thanks
shinigami99 10
I don't think people that smoke marijuana or use other natural substances are unintelligent.. Dealing them is another story.
thesimp 6
YDI for being a bad parent.
turtles4life 24
Clearly the OP isn't a bad parent, he said the "good news" was that it wasn't real weed, so he obviously doesn't want his son to be involved in drugs. I'm not sure what would look like a "good parent" in your eyes, I don't think most people find it necessary to teach their kid that illegal drugs don't grow in their lawn.
mpkpm 19
I'll sell him some coke...$100..... Does he like diet or regular?
Sandsh8rk 36
I'll sell him some pot, does he like small or large?
glabberfasted 16
... got any Cherry?
lux0rd 18
#32 Depends. Do they come with lids or do you have to pay extra for them.
Sandsh8rk 36
Lids are extra, depending on the buyer.
AetherFox42 16
I'll get him crack. Fault line? Sidewalk? Road?
13ky13 20
And bath salts. Lavender, perhaps?
DARKDAY07 16
ill take some cherry and vanilla
jerryj 27
#76, I'll take a couple from the ass variety.
buckdharma 38
You looking for some dope? He's on the corner trying to sell weed.
notorious_me 13
How much for zero?
nomtard 16
So what does he think ice is?
sohigh10 34
He thinks it's brain freeze, of course. It all makes sense.
onlychildFTW 34
I don't think OP's son can get a brain freeze...
billy199494 14
Smart...
billy199494 14
I have some pot if he wants... They fit many sized plants
JenniferNThomas 14
How much was he selling them for??